Deb I think anything your H does that is his 'old norm' is a good sign. I'm sure that in the height of his alieness he probably acted like he was a visiting hired hand and took NO liberities of familiarity on the occassions that he came to your place.
I know that when my H FIRST started coming around here, when he was still a despicable stranger he acted as if he'd never lived here. The discomfort he felt here was palatable. BUT as he started 'breaking down' he began acting and looking 'more at home.'
It sounds to me that your H is beginning to act, 'more at home' around you and your place.....and that's ALL GOOD. T2
I noticed that about my H, also. At the beginning he would only use the bathroom in the lower level, now he uses the one on the main level. When he was returning from a trip with a buddy, this was back in May, he even knocked on the door before he came into the house.
In the last couple of weeks he's been fixing things around the house, too. He put some stuff into the recycling bin last night, cut up all the boxes from the TV and stand.
Quote: In the last couple of weeks he's been fixing things around the house, too. He put some stuff into the recycling bin last night, cut up all the boxes from the TV and stand.
..."acts of service" the love language most often spoken by men. Whether it's the language WE need to hear or not.
If he wasn't trying in some strange way to get back into your good graces, you couldn't get him to move a spoon in his coffee cup at your house.
T2
Quote: Whether it's the language WE need to hear or not.
Ain't that the truth! My love language is hundred dollar bills.... just kidding!
I guess I'm not really sure what my love language is and I have the book. I guess I need to read it again. I think there was one about gifts, not b-day or x-mas, but unexpected gifts.
T2 and lefty (shortened your name)LOL, Thanks for letting me know that all those things are good signs! It's funny how now I notice every little thing H does... H still knocks even though I told him he didn't have to. But he is starting to do more and has once again quite taking things! Another good sign. In fact we had found a couple rolls of wire fence and he didn't say a word; took them and put them in the barn. The man does one thing for a while and then does a 180 I'm not unhappy about it as I know these are all good signs. I want so bad to see if he will go golfing with that couple, I'm climbing my walls. I want to see if he really goes or if he is just saying he will go. Because if he goes; this means a big step closer to saving M. Anxiously awaiting good weather for some weekend! You must be doing great T2?! BTW I still have a phone, we will see if I still have one by this weekend! Deb Happier than a pig in mud!LOL
Today is the first day that I'm off since my H sorta kinda moved back in. Monday night while I was at work he brought a box with all his toiletries and hair care products. Some of his clothes were already here since he'd been staying here since the night before the hurricane hit.
He still hasn't gathered up the rest of his clothes from 'his place' if he hasn't brought them here by the weekend I will assume he is NOT sure about this move home and is keeping one foot 'out the door.' He has told me that he still hasn't seen or talked to the woman he's been renting from, so she doesn't know she's about to lose a paying tenant....that is IF she is going to lose one (?).
My H seems fine, comfortable and 'normal'...but MY stomach is in knots, and my heart's been racing these past few days. Maybe I'm just anxious, maybe I'm just nervous but I don't like the physiological symptoms I've been having...they're weird.
I have a zillion questions I want to ask my H.
I have another zillion ground rules I'd like us to set.
I have a 'haunted' feeling that I want to go away.
I am going to try to get a sense of calm. I'm going to TRY not to ask about his clothes etc... I don't know if I can do it but I'll try. I want to just WAIT and SEE what he does on his own. I've asked him about it now I have to leave it alone and see how long it takes him to follow through. T2
Don't make the clothes a deal breaker...could be he's just procrastinating, lazy...oops, that's MY H!
(Sorry CJ!)
Would it help you to feel better if you just mentioned to your H that you'd really like to sit down and sort some things through this weekend? Set a time, time limit...write out SOME of your key issues, ask him to do the same?
Just thinking that SOME perception of control would really help these anxious feelings you're having.
Sorry to disagree with Shiny, but I think you need to give your H a bit longer before you bring up all those things. Only a few days, to get acclimated and have a chance to show his moves. Try not to think of other things and enjoy the good times for a change. You will know deep inside when it is the right time to bring it up.
Of course, look who is talking... I may not be the best person to give advice in that topic.
Do what your gut tells you is right. You will know.
"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little"
Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"
just kidding!
H still knocks even though I told him he didn't have to. But he is starting to do more and has once again quite taking things! 
I may not be the best person to give advice in that topic.