well ii send my wife the first 2 chapters of DR. she called me back a said why in the hell would i send her that. i doubt she will read it , who knows she might.
i know that isnt a good LRT,but it has worked for others. ithink im just going to back completly off for now.
my coach said be her friend for now and try to start talking again.this has always backfired on me ,i think i should be much darker. but hell i dont know anymore.
Yeah, this is a marathon not a sprint...thats for sure. After I read the book and before joining the forum I sent a copy to W via Amazon. After getting into this forum I regretted sending the book. I was bummed that I did and had myself believing that she would be suspect of everything I do and say because she would think it's all DB technique and not real. I noticed a week or so ago that the book was sitting in the storage room, unopened in the amazon.com delivery box.
Two lessons for me... 1) A lot of worry for nothing and 2) every little detail doesn't matter, stay focused on the end goal. Don't sweat the small stuff.
AKA: "Ben the school teacher" --- Me:45, W:41 | Ds:10,12&14 | M:18, T:20 Me: MLC+PA+WAS+Separated 10/08 My Request to Reconcile Denied 7/09 W w/OM 6/09-11/09
Hi Bobby.. Just popping in here because I was looking for your sitch.. Just wanted to say that confusion is the one emotion of my H that has been consistent through all of this. If I had a dime for every "I dont know" that I heard from him.. well, it cover at least an hour of my lawyer's time Sometimes he says it 5 times in a row. However, while the right thing to do may be so clear to us, there is no way to make them see it. They have to see it on their own. In my case, I just hope he sees it before its too late.
Me: 36 H: 33 S1: 4 S2: 2 Together: 13 years Married: 7 years Bomb: May 09 Found out about affair: June 09 Moved out: June 09 He Filed: July 09 Moved in with OW: July 09
she probaly wont read it either.i didnt send her the whole book just the first two chapters. she keeps saying her and the kids will be better off. she says her parents split and it was easy for her to get over.
that may be true her mom still lived 2 houses down. i remember the effects it had on me as a child i dont want my kids to know that hurt. just wanted her to see the side that her friends and family wont tell her.
i do know she is confused even though she wont admit it, and i hope she comes back to earth before it too late as well. im really suprized she isnt dating , she is beautiful and could. she has only been with me and i really hope it stays like that.
thanks callilope and rsf
me 27 w 26 d7 s5 t17 m7 moved to tx from va 02/25/09 sold home in va and moved 03/23/09 bomb 04/16/09 w&kids in va me in tx working
this morning i called at the same time i aways do to talk to the kids and let them know im thinking of them. she sent me a text after she already took them to school saying that i would have to wait until it was covenent for her to talk to them. i hope the kids know im trying to be a part of their lives. thay are taking all this really hard exspecally my daughter. its hard for me to even talk to them anymore bc i get chocked up. i havent seen them but 6 days this year.
me 27 w 26 d7 s5 t17 m7 moved to tx from va 02/25/09 sold home in va and moved 03/23/09 bomb 04/16/09 w&kids in va me in tx working
Sometimes he says it 5 times in a row. However, while the right thing to do may be so clear to us, there is no way to make them see it. They have to see it on their own. In my case, I just hope he sees it before its too late.