Well, guess this my OFFICIAL new thread since my H seems to have moved back in.
It's sort of strange the way it's happened. No pomp and circumstance...no trumpets blaring...no marching band, no confetti or balloons falling from the ceiling, nothing.
There I was, sitting at the computer around 3:30 this afternoon, when the back door opens and in walks H, like it was any regular old day. He yells, "Hello!" down the hall to me and immediately proceeds out the back door to continue the work of the hurricane clean up.
I went out to talk to him, before having to get dressed and ready for work tonight, and decided to ask him if he'd told the woman he rents from that he's moving out. "No," he says, "I'll talk to her tomorrow." "Don't you need to give her some notice that you're leaving so she'll be able to find a new tenant?" I ask. "No. She'll find someone, it's not like she needs the money." Oh well I thought, not very considerate...but very much my H.
So I guess over the course of this week he'll bring the rest of his stuff home.
I think the weirdest part was that for a MAJOR change in our situation, it all seemed a bit too uneventful. T2
HI T2...nothing like expectations we didn't even know we HAD to disappoint us, huh?
Remember the plan...make the best of each day... Start listing positives, that's helped A LOT of us stay focussed on what IS working, vs how we're being let down.
Pullin' for you!!!
Shiny
P.S. You work the night shift? At least you have an excuse for bbing this late!
That is exactly the way my H came back home after 6 months of separation. He had gone on vacation with our D for a week and I joined them for the weekend. He just brought our D home from the airport and stayed on. Like nothing had ever happened. It seems that is the way WAHs do it (must be a instruction manual somewhere).
"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little"
Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"
I'm actually looking forward to a no-big-deal moving back in. I have missed the normalacy and comfort of routine very much. I like the term we use to describe the life-changing events we have survived as the "bomb".
That's how I felt--like my life exploded in less than 5 minutes and the shrapnel flew around for months after that. I really need some normalacy to return to have more of a sense of safety. No confetti, no parade--just feeling my partner sleeping beside me.
Shiny Yes, I work the night shift on alternate months. I love nights...the day shift kills me and I start that again this Friday. I am and have always been, a night owl...hoo hoo (or is it woo woo)...damn, I can't even get my bird calls right
Opt My H has been out 4 months (this time, he was gone 5 months before the last and failed reconciliation attempt). I think you're right. It's amazing how they "get over" their trip to hell and back and just come waltzing home like they've been away on business or something....amazing.
Tal I too will welcome a sense of normalcy in my life, I haven't felt "normal" since June 2002 (bomb #1 ). I guess my disappointment, is in the fact that I thought my H and I would have had a chance for a SERIOUS talk in which gound rules, expectations, latent hurts and fears would be discussed so that we wouldn't be harboring any unsaid words that could lead to another failed attempt to reconcile...THAT talk hasn't happened, but THIS has...
Kitti You're wise to hold off on both (congrats and condolences) until I get a chance to get some bearing here. T2
Maybe for now its best just to think of H coming home a just another one of those "baby" steps that help validate that you are continuing to ... continue onwards ...
one more step in the journey to get where you want to go ... nothing more ... nothing less ...
... but one thing if for sure ... things continue to change from where they were a year ago, etc ...
I haven't posted to you lately but keep up with your thread. I just wanted to say "Congrats and good luck" with your H moving back home. I am happy for you. Just keep DBing and you'll be okay. I pulling for ya!
T2, Wow, I'm so glad your H did just return, like he was never gone. Hope that happens for me. Would like to sleep and wake up to the person I always had for 21 yrs! A few things came to my mind reading this thread! When my H comes over he does a few things that he did while he lived him, it's strange and I noticed them recently. One is he goes in the barn grabs a couple of ears of corn throws them on the ground steps on them and grinds his foot into them so the kernals come off. Just like when he was at home, like he hasn't been gone and he doesn't need to do this, so why does he? There are other things he has gone back to doing. Is this a good sign? It's like he wants to feel like "normal" by doing these things. I just find it strange, because he doesn't have to do those things...I think it shows me that I will wake up, roll over and find my H laying in bed beside me! Deb Maybe I should be in "hopeful" BB! I think sometimes I see things know they are different and don't realize they are "signs" that things are changing around! Deb
). I guess my disappointment, is in the fact that I thought my H and I would have had a chance for a SERIOUS talk in which gound rules, expectations, latent hurts and fears would be discussed so that we wouldn't be harboring any unsaid words that could lead to another failed attempt to reconcile...THAT talk hasn't happened, but THIS has...
