Watch the self-talk. Identify with yourself first. You are giving, working for your marriage and handling the home & kids. What are you really doing to love yourself? Partying with your friends and buying clothes doesn't really fill your needs in the long run. One of the hardest parts of DBing for me was realising how alone I was. That became a strength when I flipped the switch and realised I needed to handle it. I was responsible for my happiness, my feelings, thoughts, actions and words. Use your athletic experiences to help. When you were down in a tennis match how did you bounce back? You can handle it.
Cheers
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Coach! Thanks for coming by... A couple of giggles...
Originally Posted By: Coach
Watch the self-talk.
Well, when since my H won't really "talk" to me, I have to "talk" to myself! J/K. I see your point.
Also, I like your thoughts regarding realization of being alone. I know that one. I think that's why I fill so much of my time w/"stuff". It's really unnecessary. I started reading a book this weekend. I haven't read for fun in years, and I love it!
And, what did I do when I was down in a tennis match. FOCUS. I can tend to be a bit ADD, so if I'd get out of rhythm, I'd put the blinders on and get to it. (Sometimes I growled, too, but I'm sure that wasn't what you were looking for! LOL)
I'm still a huge work in progress.
Last edited by mindfull; 09/23/0901:39 AM.
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
S12 had a football game tonight. H came home around 3, from being out of town for work since yesterday afternoon. I knew he would be starving, and I like to cook for him if he's here, as he eats out and so bad all workweek, when he's gone... So, I put our his favorite cheese and crackers, had chili in the slow cooker, made some pasta, and and put some cornbread in. It's funny. He just lights up when it's something he likes.
We had a fun early dinner and went to the game.
Funny, H was ALMOST completely himself all night. We even stayed and watched some of my BFF's daughter's Varsity volleyball game with she and her husband (H enjoys him, as well.). H's still here, helping S12 get ready for his Honors Algebra test, content, happy, and appearingly without stress.
Glad I can at least do this for him!
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
I think I might have just stumbled on some luck...
I looked at the "fans" of Divorce Busting on facebook today. One of them appears to be a relative of MWD, and lives right by me, and another of them is a marriage counseling practice, which is right by me! I called this evening, and left a message to see about an appointment with them... even though I'll go alone...
I like that.
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
I just read your update from last night. Quite a visual for the ol' Hubbie, eh? LOL
You're an inspiration!
Well, I think I read here that men are visual? <innocent voice>
H: Can I play?
Dia: No, but you can watch.
H: OK!!!!!
<grin>
I'll have to scroll back a few posts to see how your Dia-ish evening went. It's strange b/c on one hand, it's soooo June Cleaver but I also have a mind and a career and some downright radical ideas 'bout wimmins bein' equal and what.
<shrug>
Good thing I like cooking.
The trouble with having an open mind is that people put things in it.
My sitch - Divorce Busted! http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1804137#Post1804137
