Second, so, I'm supposed to IGNORE all that is and is not being done around me, and GAL, stop worrying about LBS, blahblahblah... OK, fine. I do GAL like a mofo, BUT, YES, I DO worry about my M and my H because I happen to love him! Can't stop that.
alright then..
not a problem..
and straight up and to the point..if the locked door was not an issue for you..then why post about it??
in this lies one of the major issues with this website..the LBS "looks" almost "dissects" any and everything the WAS does......I did it...and guess what..cheeseless tunnel....
He does what he does because he wants to do it.... and when he stops wanting to do that....then he will be back...the key is
you not being done..you willing to hang in for as long as you need to hang in...or you can hang in..
I've just pushed him too much. This all started four years ago when we moved into this house.
Seems like you recognised this. Me and the Greek had a discussion about this. Sometimes when she tells me about "wanting" to do something she is just dreaming out loud. I view it as something more to put on my "to do" list and it becomes more pressure and stress. A man wants to take care of and provide for his wife. Sometimes it sounds like it will never end to us with all the wanting more. That's the dynamic not the reality but it is "real" when it turns into a snake on the brain. Make sense?
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Seems like you recognised this. Me and the Greek had a discussion about this. Sometimes when she tells me about "wanting" to do something she is just dreaming out loud. I view it as something more to put on my "to do" list and it becomes more pressure and stress. A man wants to take care of and provide for his wife. Sometimes it sounds like it will never end to us with all the wanting more. That's the dynamic not the reality but it is "real" when it turns into a snake on the brain. Make sense?
Coach, you hit on something here... rather triggered a memory/thought I wasn't thrilled to bring back to current...
I wanted to move to this house because I:
a - loved it b - loved the neighborhood c - didn't want anyone else getting this kitchen! d - and this is the clincher... because I had agreed to consider moving out of state (we even went to Wilmington, NC and the Las Vegas suburbs house/area shopping). My H was DONE dealing w/D18's whack-job, alcoholic Dad, and all of the legal crap that went w/it. We were/are incredibly upstanding parents, and we were in court non-stop, and LOSING time w/her, etc... while he gets a DUI with her in the car! She would sob because she didn't want to go, cling to my H and I when her Dad arrived, no matter what approach we took to making this better. H couldn't stomach or endure the heartache anymore. The court system was truly jaw dropping. This was his/our answer. I chickened out, couldn't move from family, we found this house, and it bought me time as we restored it. Stupid. Again, I did NOT win. I may have the house. I have lost my M in the process. And, D18 won't even see her Dad now.
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
I've just pushed him too much. This all started four years ago when we moved into this house.
Seems like you recognised this. Me and the Greek had a discussion about this. Sometimes when she tells me about "wanting" to do something she is just dreaming out loud. I view it as something more to put on my "to do" list and it becomes more pressure and stress. A man wants to take care of and provide for his wife. Sometimes it sounds like it will never end to us with all the wanting more. That's the dynamic not the reality but it is "real" when it turns into a snake on the brain. Make sense?
I had this same issue. Every time my w said "We need to go on a vacation" or "I want to add on to the house" my blood pressure went up thinking about how we could ever afford what I saw as her unreasonable and never-ending desires. I too had to realize that she wasn't making demands or even requests, but just dreaming. I had to stop seeing these as that are therefore problems I had to solve, and start joining her in the dreaming.
"Yeah, that would be really great, wouldn't it"
Last edited by Thinker; 09/09/0909:24 PM.
Me 42, W 39, S8, S6, S2 M 11y, A & ILYBNILWY 11/08 Walking away from a bad situation.
And I totally get you wanting to feel like "you" again. I think men can't relate to ballooning during pregnancies, giant nursing breasts, everything that happens to a woman's body. And at the end of that phase, you've got great kids that you love to pieces, but somehow you've lost some of yourself in there. The he!! of it is, I'm finally at a great weight, great place, and now just waiting for menopause -- ha!
But you keep up the good work on YOU. And I will come here and distract myself with talk of wide-legged trousers, highlights, micro-derm abrasion and all the rest of our girl talk - because it helps me. If it somehow helps you along the way -- more power to us.
I'll be around tonight, kid stuff here, but probably at the hospital w/Joey tomorrow night and the weekend, except for Sunday, when I'll go visit dying BIL.
Joey doesn't have much time left.
If, in the midst of helping some wonderful people die, I can help some wonderful people live, well, that's a bonus, isn't it?
When is your micro-derm? I can't wait to hear all about it.
And my littles are FAB, my arch-nemesis is SLOWLY coming around, and my kids are happy and healthy.
So, this post is a little sideways, but I wanted you to know that my stalker didn't get me (go to court a week from today for permanent restraining order), just lots of time with Joey.
Thinking and praying for you and yours.
Stace
p.s. Still hope we can get together - lunch and retail therapy are in order!!
hey there! no time to read, but wanted to say hi and was thinking about you. hope you had a great laborday weekend!!! hope I have lots of great stories to read from you
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
