WOW He did Marry OW I saw the online record It confirmed it I CANT BELIEVE HE REALLY M her
What would be the purpose?
So when OW NOW W called me the other day I think to clear the air bevause she is now wife The pain they cause is unbelievable could attraction be worth causing so many others so much Pain I will Not let them off the hook IS THAT wrong I will Not forgive her Just b/c she got xh to M her it does NOT make the A legitimate at least not to ME any thoughts?? plwase chime in Peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
In my case, even though H didn't marry ow, I think he really loved her at some point. After that wore off, I guess he tried to convince himself he loved her. It's easier than the alternative of admitting his disastrous mistake and going back to fix things.
Maybe your xh chose a path - unfortunately the wrong one - and has just decided to follow through all the way with it. Who really knows what they're thinking and why they make the decisions they do.
Just because they're married doesn't mean they start with a clean slate. Even in the unlikely chance that the M survives, they and everyone else who knows them will know the ugly truth about their R and the damage it caused. As for forgiving ow, I can't say that I have either, but holding her responsible and feeling bitter and resentful towards her only hurts you. Ultimately, it was your xh's actions that are to blame. Like my H's ow, she's young and stupid - just how the MLCer's like 'em.
XH Came to get kids He is nuts I asked him to sign the IRS form the accountant mailed me I said this is our last tax together to him he said I wont sign it b/ c he didnt like the way I asked??? I said ok another time then He has so much ANger aimed at me I dont get it I mind my own business I ask him for nothing at this point Im just taking good care of myself, the kids, the business I am moving on I have a BF I am totally disconnected from him for the most part I just want us to be on good terms He ios so moody sometimes nice, sometimes nasty He is on presciption drugs--so I guess it is all catching up b/c so far through the crises, he has not been so damm nasty as lately he is just new;ly M he shouid be an estatic newlywed??? peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
Peace, He is not happy, that is obvious. Marrying OW is just another form of running, running running. They are trying to fix and validate their pathetic life. He will find, like he has found with everything else, that it will not make him happy.
The chances of this marriage lasting long are less than 4 percent according to statistics. Imagine.... those odds are very very low.
Very few make it under these circumstances and it has to be humiliating to acknowledge you destroyed a family, sometimes two families as well as extended family.
I am sorry about this but very happy you have moved on.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
H continues to pick kids up outside hardly any communication this week
an old friend called today Our H were frinds years ago she said her H spoke to mine and she wanted to make sure I was ok I think she was referring to my xh new Marriage to OW she just found out I guess--- I heard the message and felt the hurt all over again I decided I could NOT call her now I do not want to talk about xh anymore with people I didnt want to know what xh said to hr H
instead I want to practice positve thoughts and wish him well moving on further myserlf sadly-- the hurt is still there fresh from the M to OW there is no way to escape it so I accept it..but I will no longer feed it if I cant help it and I know xh is not the same that hurts too Ive really lost him any resemblemce to my real H is now gone that is sad peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
I don't recall if I have ever posted to you, but I am in much the same place you are I think. I have done well at letting my H go with love and wished him well, and things are quite "amicable"...... yet the hurt is still very much there and it doesn't make sense AT ALL!
I hate the feeling of being so "helpless"....... I mean of course we can only control ourselves, but..... I don't know.....I guess it's just so hard to believe that the H's we knew and loved for so many years just vanished!!
Anyway, I have no words of wisdom......just of understanding and sympathy.
Take care.
((((((hugs))))))
TJ
Me45,H49 D24,S18 M26,T28 Bomb 3/19/08 Sep 6/23/08 EA/PA with Secretary 2007-8 3/2009 H moved in w/OW2 7/2009 Let him go w/Love. 8/2009 Legally Sep'd
I have had to cut contact with many friends due to them knowing me and ex. When they would call it was only to tell me what ex had told them or to tell me some other gossip about him. It was way too painful for me. So I have made new friends and moved on. Many people just want to be nosey and pass on hurtful things to you. It is so very destructive.
I am just starting to accept that ex may not ever resemble the man I knew. I can't wait for him any longer. I don't even like to be around him.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Silent Thanks for visiting sadly many of our experiences resmble each other
T Yes, Th etime is now really to let go and move on it just doesnt seem fair I guess all this time I was HOPING he would come back or at least reaturn to himself..the man I knew Its like a death..only worse I think Its like the person is mentally ill creating havoc for us/ our kids and we are powerless I agree with you I dont like my xh either he is a shell peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
As usual, we are at similar points. H (soon to be ex-H) is just so angry and it is all directed at me. I have cut off any verbal contact - it is all through emails and texts. I have NEVER been spoken to the way he has spoken to me lately. None of us deserve this treatment.
I can't believe that your H got married. I am so sorry. You and I ask the same questions - aren't they supposed to be happy now...now that they have found their "true love"? It is just running....they must hate themselves a great deal.... I am expecting H to get married as well - and the grave consequences that will happen if he does. Both girls have said that they will never speak to him again if he marries her. Both are in such pain, but deny it. That is the only time anymore that I get angry with him - when he hurts them.
And using again. Well, I guess this OW is a wonderful influence on him. Sounds like a great relationship. I guess the question is...do you think he has hit bottom? Can he go any lower? Just when I think H has hit bottom, he proves to me that he can go lower.
I do not discuss my H anymore with anyone. I'm am just tired of talking about him. And honestly, some of what I would have to say is just unbelievable...so I am better off keeping quiet. I look at him now and really wonder what I saw in him - I am having difficulty remembering the good.
Oh, Peace - I'm sorry for the pain that you are in right now. But it does sound like you are continuing to do what is best for your kids and that you are remaining strong.
