Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers UPSIDE DOWN - still struggling, trying to detach

I'm also inclined to not answer at all and make like my computer is defunct (God forbid)!!

This is my best draft so far:

Hey (as he addressed me)!
Sorry, not available this week. Could do Saturday after 3pm or Sunday?

Short, blunt, mysterious ... ?? Limited option but options, none the less.

Definitely short blunt and mysterious! Although Im no guru on the subject, just trying to keep my fingers out of the email at the moment!

Morning Nell

Yes you definitely need to be short and to the point and yes mysterious, must be mysterious, worked for me. I wouldn't answer straight away give it a bit of time.

I am glad you look like you have quite a few things on now and with the job that makes GALing so much easier.

Will check back after, have to run and get ready for work.

Very tired this morning.

Morning folks!
Will probably leave it until I get home from work tomorrow evening before I reply - that will be 48hrs. I don't want to ignore the email even though he has ignored mine in the past. I don't want him to think that I am game-playing as that would just incur more anger.

Will just keep it as I have suggested above and that should be OK, I think!

Decided to go buy some new work clothes today - I am ready for another treat!

Yay for Nell, new clothes, I love getting new clothes, it does wonders for you when you come home with all those nice new things to pop in the wardrobe.

Shame they are just work clothes though - not quite the same as a nice black sequined number!

Just thinking back to a post that I saw a while ago (don't know who's it was). Someone suggested that the LBS should reply to a similar email, such:

Sorry, can't do x,y or z night but a,b or c will be fine. Can you let me know what exactly it is that you want to discuss so that I can think it over before you arrive.

What are your thoughts on that?? Does it look like you are buying time to make excuses or does it show a commitment to being solution focused??

Hi Nell

doesn't matter if they are work clothes, they are still new and it means you can go SHOPPING.

Yes I have seen that reply suggested and in fact had been suggested to me a few times. It is good because it contains no real emotion and puts it out there that you are not available whenever the H is ready to make contact. No it doesn't look like you are making excuses.

Thanks Oz - perhaps I shall do that then.

I've come back from town - bought a suit which is nice but as I am in between sizes now, legs and arms are too long whilst body looks good! Needs some adjustment and a blouse/top underneath so that I can get the true picture. Will make a decision on the weekend as to whether it stays or goes back!

Feeling sick this afternoon. Don't know why but it's almost like I see this next contact as a make or break, which I know is silly. I am impatient and I know that this is not going to be the time when he says that he is coming back but I just need a sign that this is worth fighting for right now. It's been so long with nothing.

Whilst I feel in control with H waiting on my answer of when to meet, I know that after the meeting I will be out of control and back to square one all over again. This is a hideous way to feel constantly.

OK - I'm off spider fighting ... they are getting the spray treatment this afternoon! I've had it with them rebuilding their webs as quickly as I can knock them down. The grass has also shot up overnight - seems that all my effort the other day is now wasted!