Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy THE TABLES TURN

THANKS PHOENIX,

In the spirit of being helpful to others here (I don't think I have much) I want to tell you how I got involved with my affair.

Be careful with GAL and watch for the vulnerable feelings you have when your spouse becomes a different person. I found myself having an affair and going to her on days when something my wife said or did particularly hurt. I had sex partly to chase the image of my wife and her OM having sex out of my head. The astonishing part was that I never stopped wishing to be with my wife. She can't understand that.

(SHe just sent me a tex, "Hope all is well") Well no it's not! I don't even wan't to respond to that.

So don't respond.

Have you thought at all about going dark??

yes, and I am trying to decide how dark.

With her I think dim because she has a way of reading things to the most extreme, afraid she might think I went back to the OW or that I might be dark because I hate her. She is what people call an absolutist in every way.

What's in this for you?

what do you mean Davidswife?

I know you "love" her -- but it appears that this isn't working.

You've both made mistakes, but it seems like she's not willing to forgive and move on.

This isn't working for you. Sometimes, you love someone, but it ends up that you're an enabler in a co-dependent relationship.

You're both suffering and spinning your wheels -- why not go dark and give yourself a break??

To what end? Would like to salvage the marriage and that is why I am here.

Good wishes to you, trying to save your marriage.

I hope you save yourself.

Goodluck!!

Painx2, seriously man, what are you doing? You're afraid she will think you went back to the OW? So? Are you supposed to be at her beck and call after what she did?

Acting like a wimp is not going to save your marriage. Your w does not respect you because she can walk all over you and your only concern is if she will hate you. Stop settling for crumbs. Stop waiting around hoping she'll come back. Stop feeling guilty. She f*cked around first.

Go PITCH BLACK!! She started this mess and you need to do something shocking and without warning, NOW! Do not contact her or respond to her in any way for awhile. Let her stew in it.

Hey just trying to get method details, not poo pooing your suggestion.