Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums We're separated--What Now? So... it's come to this.

Well then, that won't work for you will it. Sorry I thought you were located in VA.

very close. I would be much better off if we still lived in VA. We actually used to live in Woodbridge.

a bit of journaling here...

LIFE IS NOT FAIR!! but ya know what? nobody ever promised that it would be.

For most of our marriage I have made more than my H and now that I make a small fraction of what he does were splitting up and I am frightened.

No one forced me all those years to do with out and cater to my H's evey whim. Although I would like to think he did... that was my choice. I have to own that. I guess without realizing it I thought if he got everything he wanted at some point he would realize what a GREAT wife I was and see how much I loved him and he would love me back.

What we had is not what God intended marriage to be.

I know it is not going to be easy raising two teenage boys on my salary and child support, but it can be done. No one ever promised life would be easy either.

I think I may be coming out of my funk a little bit. I actually got some MUCH NEEDED house work done this morning. I know I will feel better about myself for letting loose of the death grip I have on this man who does not love me and probably never did.

...and that is all I have to say about that for now. GAL activities the rest of today and nost of the weekend.

NNP,

I agree on the "life is not fair", but sometimes there's just nothing you can do about that. For the last 15 years I sacrificed my career to follow my W around from one military assignment to another. I always worked, but had to continually start over at each assignment and work my way up until we moved again. So as a result my overall earning power was diminished. A portion of her retirement will compensate for that, plus I can now stabilize myself and move when and where I want and based on promotions not "reassignments".

As for the finances, what I have try to keep in perspective is that the initial adjustment is going to be the worst, but then as long as you control spending and expenses, every year should get better and better. You just have to navigate and get used to the first year on your own.

Have a great Labor Day Weekend.

S4H

Just checking in on you, NNP, and letting you know I am following along.

I told H a week ago today of my plan to file. he has spent the last week trying to talk me out of it. First with "but what about our financial future" and when that wasn't working to his liking he pulled out all the stops and eventually got to "but I DOOOOO love you and the last thing I want is to break up our family"

I will admit I want with all my being to believe him, but I know that it's not true. He is just afraid and does not know how to live without me doing everything for him.

I have not filed yet, but I will be very soon. Gosh I hate the thought of paying a L all that money! But I know it must be done.

I got this in an email from my SIL today:

Been thinking about you all throughout the two days of the Whitney Houston interviews on Oprah. There were so many lines I wanted to write down... Hope you saw some of it. And hope you have heard Whitney's new song about strength...She sang it at the end of the show. Maybe it is on Oprah's website. I don't have time to check it right now. Might be worth a look...

Hope you are moving forward. Sending all positive and loving thoughts and hugs and prayers.

I'm not sure what rock I have been living under but I didn't even know Whitney Houston was back on scene. So now I am going to read the interview transcripts.

I got to see the second Oprah/Whitney interview yesterday afternoon when I got home. Now I understand what my SIL was talking about.

I sort of saw it. What did you get from it?

I'm interested in what you learned from Oprah. Is the website helpful?

The line that really struck me during the show that I saw was when Oprah said to Whitney "you really took those vows seriously didn't you?" Who of us didn't? ...and I really liked it at the end when O asked W if Bobby would be upset by what she had said. W said she would be getting a phone call and O said something like are you worried about it? and W gave her a look and said "bring it". I want to get to that point.

Mat, I am not sure what website you are referring to? The transcripts of the interview are avalaible at Oprah.com if that is what you mean.

Did you all notice I changed my name? It's kind of silly and spur of the moment, but it does fit