Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy WAW wants to get togeather?

yep her boss called an officer she knows and he told her to get everything in order so she has proof (not just pointing a finger) and then she is pressing charges. the W split and was missing not one person had heard from her. then last night MIL kept calling and texting her wanting to know if she was ok and she finally wrote back to her saying she was alive and she was not sure if she wanted to be. then she said she did not want to associate herself with anyone she does not know whats wrong with her but dont worry

she sounds like she is on the edge of suicide but its not really in her i dont think.. hard to say but I would almost think this is a cry for help rather than killing herself

Know what you can be thankful for? That she's leaving the kids with you. Custody is pretty much assured for you. If I were you, I'd get into the mindset that I don't want her back. What's to want? Try it on for size.."I don't want her back anyway, so who cares what she's doing." Perhaps she'll make great strides to improve herself and earn her way back into your life...but you can afford to have an attitude that makes her win you back, rather than waiting for her to hit rock bottom and then come back to her knight in shining armor.

thanks for the advice, i really like this place alot! had a setback but a good one. I got texts from W today and well long story short she came out here and we drove around talking. she told me i was right about everything. then she said she left because she was protecting the family because of her steeling she says she just cant stop. said im stupid for loving her and i need to forget her and move on.. she keeps saying she is a bad person..

IDK I hope she does her time and they put her through the correct steps to solve her problem. she feels so low but tonight she feels better after talking to me. she is worried for her family.

I think that when she says things like that she expects you to disagree with her. Dont, part of what she is saying is true isnt it? She feels terrible about the hole that she has dug for herself and I think that shes fishing for you to make her feel a little better about it!

Its hard to watch our spouses go through these things, but we have to remember that these are the consequences of THEIR actions. You cant help her unless she wants to be helped, and is ready to start making her life better, otherwise your just enabling her.

she claimed she really wanted to stop but cant, I had told her when she truily wanted help people will help her and a consoler would help. she resoned that her old consoler never was able to help she says she just cant tell everyone everything.

the thing is although I want to know more about what is really going on with her and OM i just dont think its worth asking (i belive this is something in DB where you dont ask right?)

im curious how long it will take her new friends to bail. im sure they will write maybe visit at first (if any can get a car)however its safe to say IMO they will loose contact and interest.

Im trying to be supportive with out offering her too much from me. Ive been really trying to get her to see the kids which is one major task she has the excuse she will cry and not want to leave.

I have a feeling OM is loosing interest fast. her dream world is now crashing down faster than she ever thought.

Please, don't go into rescue mode. If you feel the need to protect anyone, let it be your kids.

I know you love her, but it will not help. Just let it play out.

I know how you feel, I always want to run in and take care of my wife too but she just took it for granted and it didn't help her or help save our marriage.

Yes its hard because she tells me everything now. so much makes sense.

Odd thing is she says she wants to be left alone but, when I did/do that she says she does not like it because it makes her think i gave up..

I have talked to her more now than ever. she says she needs to go through her issue alone. so i think as hard as it is I should just let her be.. get a little distant.

well she sent some more texts last night. her text have gotten very long lately too.

IDK if the time she sits alone now allows her to think or what but it's nice to know she is constantly thinking about me and the kids for once but it still hurts alot. (right now i feel so alone) and I wonder why she wants to be so alone. for so long she made new friends and wanted to be with them. now no one?

I know part of DB is to not help them out/being a door mat but i have to say she would not even let me if i wanted to be.

So much of my life for the past year has been filtered through "if I do this then where would my wife fit in to the plan?" It makes life very difficult. be there but don't be there if that makes sense.