Ya think I can expect anything for my birthday on Sept. 8??? Guess I'll just go with NO expectations for anything and see what happens. You guys won't forget me will ya??
Me 55 H 49 Married 21 years No kids bomb 5/09 filed 7/09 divorced and moving forward 5/10
I know how you must feel... as it is our 26th wedding anniversary...... I myself am wondering whether to call...email...text... am praying bout it......I pray you have a very happy birthday.....and just celebrate it because it is your birthday. I am sure many people love you and care for you....
As much as it hurts us to know we no longer count in our husbands lives we do have other people who do care and love us. I have been in here posting for bout a little over a year and I go back sometimes to read my posts and I pat myself on the back how far I have come since all this started and you will to.
It feels like we just cant take another step but we do overcome and without God in my life i would not be here....i can honestly say that and give him all the glory.
be good to yourself and listen to te people in here they are very smart and wise..as you can see by my post at first I still struggle with it.
But I have gotten a life and it feels good not to have my husband in my thoughts 24/7....
GG, You are going to have to learn to have absolutely no expectations w/your h. Expectations will deflate your ego and mood so quickly when they do not do what they normally would have done. Expect nothing and when he does do something right and/or nice, be surprised and thank him for what he's done.
Make your birthday extra special. Do something totally different than you would have had he been in the picture. Create new traditions.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
So, I found these lyrics by a band called Crossfade...
Looking back at me I see That I never really got it right I never stopped to think of you I'm always wrapped up in Things I cannnot win You are the antidote that gets me by Something strong Like a drug that gets me high
What I really meant to say Is I'm sorry for the way I am I never meant to be so cold to you
And I'm sorry about all the lies Maybe in a different light You could see me stand on my own again Cause now i can see You were the antidote that got me by Something strong like a drug that got me high I never meant to be so cold
I never really wanted you to see The screwed up side of me that I keep Locked inside of me so deep It always seems to get to me I never really wanted you to go So many things you should have known I guess for me theres just no hope I never meant to be so cold
Me 55 H 49 Married 21 years No kids bomb 5/09 filed 7/09 divorced and moving forward 5/10
I am really missing my h today...should be home tomorrow from motorcycle ride and I haven't heard a word from him. I'm having waves of sadness and I just keep realizing how much I love him, miss him, and want our marriage back. Just a weak day today...need your support!
Me 55 H 49 Married 21 years No kids bomb 5/09 filed 7/09 divorced and moving forward 5/10
I am really missing my h today...should be home tomorrow from motorcycle ride and I haven't heard a word from him. I'm having waves of sadness and I just keep realizing how much I love him, miss him, and want our marriage back. Just a weak day today...need your support!
GGirl- I feel your pain. Consider this... If you have low expectations you're less likely to be disappointed. I'm trying to expect little to nothing and be pleasantly surprised if there is something. Not always doing well at it LOL but that's the plan.
H 51/W 43 Together 24yrs/Married 19yrs 2 kids- D18 & S16 "I want out" July 2008 "I want out" Dec 2008 "I want you out" Aug 2009 Still in house thru it all
Okay, so I guess having expectations just means I'll be disappointed when they don't happen? Is that it?? I'll take any advice, suggestions, anything. I'm having a really sad day, a "memory" day of all the things we used to do together. AND, Labor Day weekend is coming up and we would have been at our cabin enjoying the last weekend of summer by hiking, canoeing, etc. and now that's not going to happen. I'm trying to GAL, today is a HUGE backslide...
Any thoughts?
Me 47 H 42 Married 20 years no kids Bomb 5/09
Me 55 H 49 Married 21 years No kids bomb 5/09 filed 7/09 divorced and moving forward 5/10
When I was a kid, my parents used to take me and drive out to my grandparents house for a big family bash and picnic, but I guess that's not going to happen this Labor Day....so I guess I could be upset with my parents.
Look Golf, That is 3 days away and it is already making you sad...wait...sorry...YOU are making you sad you are allowing it.
Do SOMETHING. Get your mind off of this 'memory' day. Go someplace new find a new resturant. Hike a mountain, check out the Tea Store in Boulder, or Lucilles for lunch.
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Okay, so I guess having expectations just means I'll be disappointed when they don't happen?
Partially right. When your dissappointed or hurt...it is really hard to keep it out of your next interaction with him.
Get rid of your expectations and get rid of your reactions. Like guilt, anger, woe is me sorrow. And yeah you're also not dissappointed.
This is something you control...so control it.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
