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"As much as she's saying she doesn't want to "take me for all I'm worth", the papers say she wants exclusive access to the house, spousal support, child support - even though it says joint legal and physical custotody, and can support herself just fine if she works full-time - she's a physical therapist. I'm not just not sure what to think about all this."

So Bill,

Well this is pretty much what I thought would be coming your way from your wife? How does the deal she is proposing sound to you? Fair?

Get the divorce lawyer that can command the highest per hour rate in your area . . . think $350-500 minimum per hour. The lawyers that can command the top wages usually have the best outcomes for their clients. Of course a referral from an acquaintance that went through this and was pleased with their lawyer's demeanor and actions would be great to have. Whatever you spend on lawyer's fees (if your lawyer is very good) you will save in the financial rape that is coming your way. And it will be coming in spades if you don’t do something, right now.

Again, your wife doesn't have your best interest in mind. She wants you to play nice while she throws you under the bus.

Certainly take care of your children and give her 1/2 of the assets, but don't roll over because you want to be friends. If she wanted to be your friend she wouldn't be divorcing you. At this point she just wants your $$$$. She believes that she is entitled to all your money. And I doubt that she cares if you have any left to live on yourself. See she just wants to be happy and the rest of the world be damned.

Not rolling over.

Have now 2 consultations scheduled, one tomorrow and one next Tuesday.

Holy cow, looking at the papers - mediation is schedule for Sept 4th - paperwork due 5 days before. Sheesh, you think they could give me a little time

Great that you are going to protect yourself!

I know you love your wife (or the image of your wife that you keep in your mind's eye). This creature you are living with now isn't that woman.

Your lawyer will file for an extension if he/she thinks it has tactical advantage so don't sweat the timing. Get a good lawyer and he will know what he is doing.

Expect next an order to vacate your home. Maybe a trumped up restraining order to force you out. Women can be damn mean when they want to (so can guys so relax out there).

At this point seems like it's going to be the first one I'm going to talk to - tomorrow. I don't have any time. WTF?

Bill, You just got another bomb dropped on you. Stay busy - if nothing else go for a walk (a long one.) What Karen posted to you is kinda what happened to me (plus my good looks, superior intellect and sense of humor all helped.) You can handle it.

Cheers
Coach

I don't understand that. I think the shortest they've had in any of our motions was 30 days to respond. From what you say you have 3 business days or so, less than a week? There is an incredible amount of financials you will have to generate by that date--doubt it's even possible to do in that time period. That seems strange to me. B/c for one thing it is putting so much pressure on you to hire an L in a day or 2.

I think it's a good idea to have 2 consultations and then you can hire the one that seems like a better fit with you. The appt. you had on Tuesday--if you call them back and explain the short response time you have would they be able to meet with you possibly tomorrow or Monday? Then whichever attorney you hire will have to file for a continuance stating (what one day????) is not enough time for you to file the paperwork.

I have to say if I were you I wouldn't even barely talk to your W now, not only b/c she's acting like a total jerk imho, but b/c it's better for you legally probably too. Hopefully your L will have some advice about this. Karen

Yeah I called up - they're already closed today, and closed on Friday. Looks like I'm going with Lawyer 1.

The info / mediation appt appears to be about child custody. Looks like I can fill it out and drive it to the court. These are questions like your relationship with your kids, history of domestic violence. Sheesh, my wife HAS been hospitalized for emotional issues. I mean, we're to the point now where I've got to document my wife's history for the court.

I guess I've got to get used to this.

The document says this specifically is NOT about money, child or spousal support, or property.

So I think this first step is we agree that we want joint legal and physical custody, which is how she's filed.

So, I'm going to fill out this thing tonight, take to to the lawyer tomorrow, have her review, and take it to the court either tomorrow or Monday - 5 days before Sept 4.

This is managable.

Karen, I still wanted to just call her up today. Of course I didn't. But God I miss her.

But yeah, I'm just kind of not talking to her at home. Kind of ignoring her actually, not being rude, I mean like thanks for making coffee, stuff like that. Do you need help with dinner.

Band practice is off. I guess I've got to spend tonight on this paperwork anyway.

One of these questions is what are some of the things that origianlly attacted you to your spouse. Strange. The whole thing is a tone of cooperating on the agreement for the kids.

Hm. Came home, mentioned to W about this paperwork and this mediation appointment for next Friday - she had no idea about it. Hadn't seen a copy of the questionare, didn't know about the appointment.

I find that hard to believe. It sounds like her L filed it; my L and my H's L give us copies of all documents filed in court (copies to the client). Her attorney would have given her a copy--I guess she might not have read them, but I can't imagine that!! It's not like it's junk mail or something. I'm glad it sounds like something doable; but still think it's not good you have to basically hire an L in a day b/c of that. I assume it's legal that they set that date, but shouldn't be!!! Karen