It was under the guise of seeing if I remembered to buy the pellets for the water softener. I told him yes - he gave a few additional instructions about what to do.
I asked him how is 4th was. He didn't mention hanging out with his sister and BIL - just said he didn't do much all weekend. Made one mistake said it was sad for our family not to be together. Wish I could take that one back!
He asked me if I planned to stay down here all week through next weekend. I told him yes - it was the one time I could get away from work before things get too hectic. I can't remember exactly what he said but he was trying to act like it was no big deal. I told him he was welcome to join us next weekend. He said we'll see how it goes. I told him to just let me know.
He asked me if our son was getting bored. I said no - you know him as long as he has his video games & TV. I said do you want to talk to him? He said sure if he wants to talk to me. So they at least talked for a couple of minutes. My son told him we were going to the pool today.
Before I put my son on the phone to talk to him he said something like well I was just calling to make sure you remembered the water pellets and knew how to do everything.
Just spent 4 hours at the pool (not to rub it in or anything) :0)Always lifts my spirits. I know not to get my hopes up based on one phone call. But I was glad that he didn't have negative tone with me. Do you think it was a big deal what I said about it being sad that are family wasn't together this weekend?
I did mention about coming down to his shop when I get back and he didn't have a negative reaction just said OK.
I don't expect him to call again and I don't expect that he'll come down next weekend. I left it on him. I still will not be calling him this week.
Doesn't take much to please my son. They closed all the local Wendy's where we live but there's one here at the lake. So his big treat he wants tonight is to go to Wendy's! I can handle that!
Try to stay away from the "do you think it means 'X'" stuff if you can. You can't really "read" someone when they're in a runaway state like your husband is. No, I don't think your comment was a setback -- it was just an honest sentiment from you. Just don't keep doing it, that's all.
Thanks Puppy. I do have a tendency to overanalyze things. Hard not to do when you just don't know where your H's head is. Of course, at this point I don't think he really knows either.
Got off cheap with my son tonight - cheeseburger, fries and a vanilla frosty and he's a happy camper!
You're an awesome person Puppy - I know you're making a difference in a lot of peoples' lives on this site!
I still don't think I'm over the shock! My H called tonight and told me that he misses me. He said he wanted to come down this weekend but they have to work on Saturday in order to get a job done for a new customer that's due on Tuesday.
He said he appreciated the fact that I hadn't called and had given him space to think this week (although he said he wished for me to call). I'll try to just summarize but he said he wants to work on the marriage and he doesn't want to be divorced. He's really noticed the positive changes I've made over the past couple of months.
He said counseling is not for him but he knows it's good for me and he's fine with that. He also said he knows that he has things he has to work on as well. We're supposed to talk again tomorrow night. He said if we're having a good time he understands but if we want to come home a little early he'd really like that.
Wow! I feel like I've just lost 50 lbs! I know we're not out of the woods and the hard work is just beginning.
I will continue to update everyone on our progress as well as to provide support for others. I will also continue to pray for all of us!
Just wanted to share my good news! I'm rolling up my sleeves and ready to get to work! Any words of advice from those of you that have put your marriages back together?
Thanks so much Puppy and everyone else on this site that have supported me throughout the last few months. You have been such a lifeline to me. Thanks again everyone for your prayers and support!
My advice would be to use the next 24 hours alone to REALLY think about what you want. What are your boundaries? The "dealbreakers"?
Now is your time of maximum leverage. Use this to NOT go back to the same old marriage you had, but to begin a BRAND NEW marriage, on EQUAL terms.
The biggest mistake people make at this stage is to cave too quickly. Make sure you stay strong, and tell him what you want, and ask him what he needs from you.
Now is NOT the time to be shy about what you want. How do you feel about the relationship with your friend? Think about that, and what you want to convey to your husband; what you're willing to live with, and what you're not.
