My first reaction is, "Who cares what the reason is?" I mean, that's sort of lesson #1, right -- whatever Walkaway's reasons, they're Walkaway's reasons. The reasons change, morph, evolve to suit the day, the hour, the instant. Walkaways. Shapeshifters.
Yet I can't deny that we all want to know Why. If there were a clear Why, then we'd be able to Fix The Problem.
So could it be that he's having some hydraulic difficulties? Certainly. He's the right age. The gods know I've learned that lesson recently -- my tennis serve doesn't have quite the "snap" it used to, if you catch my drift (and much to my chagrin).
But is that something you can bring up? Only you know the depth of the intimacy -- on a non-sexual level -- that you share.
Could it be depression? Certainly. Could it be both? Certainly. Could it be something else? Certainly.
And therein lies the basic risk, I think, of your bringing the matter up. It could be a near-infinity of things. Does bringing it up get you closer to your goal or farther away?
Now you could approach it, as @Thinker did, in a Star Trek-inspired vision of bold exploration. It has long been my personal belief that there is nothing quite as splendid as being in the midst of rinsing the soap out of my eyes in a steamed-up shower and suddenly noticing an extra pair of hands (female, thank you very much -- not that there's anything wrong that, LOL) weighing in to lend a, ahem, "hand." The boldness of it intrigues me rather a lot, as does the obvious direction such assistance -- purely humanitarian, mind you -- could go.
Boldly go where no one....
However, that's the kind of thing that could backfire. Could result in all sorts of awkwardness.
This, I think, is something only you can sort out. So is it possible that Himself's pump needs some priming? Certainly. But is that the $10,000-Question in your sitch? Again -- only you can answer that.
But, crap, you were supposed to come through w/a witty, welcoming approach to this? DONTCHA KNOW THAT WAS YER JOB?
With that said, I like what you said, with a tweak.
#1 - I'd really like to f'n know if this is truly an issue of his w/me, an issue of his w/someone else (have to leave that option open), an issue w/his plumbing, etc... I may never really know. But, sh*t, if it's plumbing, GOOD LORD, how about a freakin' pill? He was always a bit "shy" about intimate stuff, though. I'm not sure he'd find the voice to admit it.
#2 - The self confidence will come back as I peel off this weight (still, determined now...). I think I'll do a few shots of courage, and pull a Thinker (in some way) - THINKER - if you read this, I offer you the utmost respect. Well handled... wish you could guide me!
What's that crazy saying? An awkward morning beats a lonely night? I NEED TO CARRY ON W/MY DAY! Who cares about an awkward mornin'!
Deep for a blonde, eh? LOL
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
OK, Stace... I may be a slow "getter," but eventually I do...
FIRST - The car is STILL NOT FIXED! Can't get the part until Monday! RUKIDDINME? I'm sportin' a freakin' Honda (nothing wrong w/Honda's, but how about another Mom Mobile?)! Ha! I feel like my D18! Argh!
MORE IMPORTANTLY - What happened with the paperwork against the ExH? Any fallout? Does he know yet? You ok?
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
In a completely irrelevant coincidence, I am driving my to-be-ex-MIL's Honda Civic. It is not new, but it is doing the trick. My usual ride is a '98 Camry, so I guess it's not that different. S21 has the interesting wheels, an 01 Celica, and a red Ducati!
MB GOALS --- Dinner and homework with my boys after practice every night in the kitchen - Sounds odd, but we've been so busy, and our schedules started out the school year chaotic again, that I feel like we're all living next to each other, not along with each other. Last Thursday, and last night we've come home from football/soccer training, and they did their homework at the table, while I cooked them (their third) a real dinner. Fun times! We were in there from about 7:30-9, but we got it done, and they had a healthy dinner. NOTE: We were never unhealthy, just grabbing something quick, everyone do their own thing, retreat to rooms... TOO MUCH BUSYNESS --- 1500 calories a day, MAX --- An exercise class @ least 4 times/week --- One salon treatment per week (:)) Next week it's micro-derm! --- Reading on the hammock 2x/week
GOALS re: MARRIAGE --- Continue the sllllloooooooow process of detaching. --- Show appreciation of the good in what we have. --- Rock the new figure as it re-appears! --- Have this weight off by mid-Sept, so I can see what kind of confidence unfolds. Then, f'n use it!
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
