Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Piecing Our Marriage Back Together Again The DB two step

My H. Scope for today

Even if you aren't enjoying your work today, it's easy to make it look like you're having fun. This can become a game for you that alleviates your boredom and actually makes life more pleasurable. But there could be a price to pay for hiding your true feelings if you don't know when to call it quits. Unexpressed negative emotions can turn into resentment, so it may be wiser to just be honest from the beginning.



Yes you are right. But It had to be said out loud. As much as I would NOT like it. I have a feeling she is too chicken to leave. I think she may want me to make the first move.



This is where we are at


I agree. It has been hard but I have been trying to hold things together for my son. But I was losing myself. My own identity



Been there done that.. You see my wife is stubborn. If I said “if you are not in OUR room before I leave for Wash. it’s over” she would NOT be there because I made the demand. If you read back always I tried that one already




YES.. Tonight is our son’s back to school night so I am not going to pursue anything right now. But I will make sure she understands that being separated just like I can’t say who she can contact or see I will contact and see anyone I please.
I will NOT die never having been cared about and intimate with a person again.
And I could die anyway………
I am going to wait until all my reservation are complete though before Just incase by some slight chance she tried to stop me from going……….
Yes you are right that I just said what we both may have been thinking. But now I feel she knows that my loyalty is to myself not her

Good luck Doc. I'm rooting for you.

that was "I could die anyday"...Not any way. Not that I am planning on it..

Back to school went nicely. I did not make any overt effert to hang around W but she kinda hung around me.
IT's hard to explain but I think I have FINLEY detached. I feel like a load had been lifted by confirming our "separation".( Maybe I have accepted reality) No more pursuing on my part..(sorry OT) if she wants me to hang around...the ball is in her court now.
I'm ok. I feel now I can start to be myself around other people.

Doc,

I don't really want you to pursue. If you haven't noticed, I've never been a big fan here of the romance her/barely hold her hand/ don't be overtly sexual with her approach...

Detachment is the best thing for emotional intimacy and hot sex. Read PM.

So OT,

What would be the way to show detachment without seeming cold in Doc's sitch?

I second the recommendation for "Passionate Marriage"!

We are detached from most people in the world. This does not require being cold to them. PM helps with the idea of detachment too.

Having a Great day everyone. Hope you are all having one also.
I feel like when you are going on a long hike and about a mile from the end... how you are so tired and don't think you can take another step but you keep going one step at a time. And then YOU FINELY ARRIVE...You get to sit down and just rest and enjoy....

Some amazing things have happened (not R wise) but I see some R stuff happening also. Got ta go clean the pool so when son gets home from school we can go swimming.......
But I will post more soon....

High Five everyone
Doc

This is NOW wife’s "favorite" song. any inputs??


What I’ve done by linkin park


In this farewell
There's no blood, there's no alibi
'Cause I've drawn regret
From the truth of a thousand lies
So let mercy come and wash away

What I've done, I'll face myself
To cross out what I've become
Erase myself and let go of what I've done

Put to rest what you thought
Of me while I clean this slate
With the hands of uncertainty
So let mercy come and wash away

What I've done, I'll face myself
To cross out what I've become
Erase myself, and let go of what I've done

For what I've done, I start again
And whatever pain may come
Today this ends, I'm forgiving

What I've done, I'll face myself
To cross out what I've become, erase myself
And let go of what I've done

What I've done
Forgiving what I've done

Besides this curiosity I will post more lately

Doc

Yep, I know that song. That was "my song" for awhile, too. DOn't underestimate the guilt she feels and the uncertainty about your relationship. What to do now......that's what she is thinking......