Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy WAW wants to get togeather?

oh yeah she still plays 24/7 and has no time to call her kids, no money to pay the daycares ect. all stuff she has to pay. now this week i have to pay for school payoff the one daycare (check she bounced the only time she did pay) or the girls cant go to the afterschool program that is through that daycare.

so in short ive been still paying her share and mine.
bills are due left and right im so short on cash im thinking the coaching was something i should have skipped the stress is just adding up. im still waiting for my federal return since i had to file late (thanks to W) state came already but it was not much.

so she sent a text today saying she was going to give the daycare some money but cant because they wont be going through my city to there vacation spot (usually they do as it's sorta on the way there) anyway she says she wants to meet me next week so i can give it to the daycare. I responded saying i cant meet her next week i will be too buisy. then she responded that it sounds like i dont want to meet her but it was ok she screwed up again ect ect. and she had been thinking alot last night and thats why she wants to talk.

(I think who cares at this point she could tell me anything but hey i won the lotto and im giving you half befor it would make any differance to me)

Can you suggest that she just puts the money in your bank acct? Most banks have several branches around the state, and when I have put money in peoples bank acct, I havent needed the acct number, just their name and maybe address. That way, even if she didnt pass through your town, she could still do it. No more excuses

I wonder what she wants to talk about. Maybe you should rehearse interacting with her, Ive actually heard that it helps. And I think that you know her pretty well, you should be able to predict her reactions fairly well.

I think that if what she wanted to talk to you about was important, I cant imagine why it would wait till next week.

I think i will just blow her off. I will try to be somewhat nice but just tell her im too buisy. really anything she has to say at this point wont change a thing. I cant help but think being her friend is like you said befor letting her have her cake and eat it. she gets to party have fun and stab my back and gets the nice thought im here waiting by the door tail wagging with the kids next to me

we use the same bank but yeah she wont do that. to be honest its prob better not to get tied into her money game more than im already forced into. (thanks for the idea though...)

I guess im all over the place through this stich but days liek today and yesterday really make me mad at her

Im still very pissed at her and yesterday i went off on her again. pretty much said everything was her fault and she had no right blamming me, told her she was leaving me and the kids to live off of nothing while she playes asked her how she can even forget her kids ect i really held nothing back. then about 6 hours later she sent me a text after 12:00am saying Im right and she was sorry. i sent a text when i got up and called but still no word from her which is odd. but i guess im still so mad at what she has done to me and the kids i just dont care if i pushed her further away. after all it really comes down to her leaving the kids with nothing while she playes.

so my guess is either she is thinking or she has had enough and it's now my only choice but to go dark and move on with my life and let her be.

the nice thing though is because of the agreement having a typeo she has to come to my town to pick up and drop off the kids if i want to hold her to it. and i might just for the fact she left not me why should i keep doing things to make her life easy when she puts me and the kids through such hard times

Ok got this text from her this morning..........
Please always remember that I love you & I have a reason for everything. I'm sorry I've hurt you & your family & our children. Please make sure D8, D6 & S3 know how much I love them. & I hope to hear from them. please don't call me.


I'm only guessing she will call again within a week but who knows what that text really means.

That is so messed up, WL. Your W sounds like how my own xW often gets -- spouting off purely on emotions, with nary a rational thought involved. You find yourself trying to parse what they're saying and no matter how you look at it it just doesn't make any real sense.

My gut feeling, based on these sorts of things that my own xW has said, is that she's going to proceed with whatever foolish thing she has in mind but just wants you to not interfere and to not hold her accountable for what the consequences. It's crazy WAS talk.

Anybody else have the same take?

so the odd twist to all of this is she loves this other kid (18), he does not love her but sticks around because she buys him things gives him a place to live (he has no job, or place to live) and gives him sex. he has a GF who from what I am told is very very hot but she is young too (16) which explains why he sticks around W as well.

I thought these messed up affairs were not going to last long but here she is still with him while he uses her. arn't these things said to fail in 6 mounths or less? or will this just keep going until he finds a new source of income or GF who is his age and he walks away?

will she ever look back and think WOW i walked away from my kids, house and husband for what? a kid who has nothing to give and now i have nothing but major debt and no real love

this is your wife you are taking about?
when did you find this out?

I suspected it the whole time even others. She finally admitit I was right Saturday night after I had it out with her on the phone and texts. She has not texted since yesterday so we will see. I don't think she went to work yesterday or today but I would have to ask to know for sure. From what another one of her friends has told me she is and she has pictures of nothing but her and this guy togeather. The kids say they hold hands hug alot and sleep togeather. No I have not given into my urge to call or text her. I belive she needs to have no contact to understand what she has done

Wow.

Your DB coach gives you the bum's rush because of a phone issue? Not very professional. I hope you get your money back or a free session out of it.

I could have "coached" you to be your w's "friend." But I think that advice stinks. Your w is cake-eating. The only reason she wants to slow down the D is so that SHE gets more comfortable with the idea of it. She's not doing it to spare you any pain.