Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Perhaps if you said something about how it keeps you on pins and needles, and that you will feel better when you know that she has spoken to them. Then you know that you have a confirmed reservation and you think it will help you to feel more relaxed around her until then. You don't want her to feel that you are just pushing on her for no reason.
ok, I just spoke to her. She said she will call today. In addition, she asked if it was the same weekend as our annual block party do i still want to go. I said I would prefer to, yes. She said OK. So, it looks pretty good right now. Should I talk about R between now and when we go? Also, our anniversary will come before Retro. What should I do about that?
Me-40 W-41 Together-10 M-8 S-6 S-4 Bomb 5/08 Bomb 10/08 Thought things were better, was wrong. Still living together Wife doesn't think she will ever love me again.
Don't talk about the relationship. It is a great sign that she is calling to go. Leave it at that. As far as the anniversary goes, like 25 and faithfulH told me. Get a card and have a picture of your kids in it and say that you just wanted to recognize the day for what it has brought you and your W as they would be around had it not been for you to getting together and bringing them into the world. Then leave it at that. Expect nothing in return.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
I would NOT talk about the R before your Retro weekend. Do something nice for your anniversary, but not overly romantic, to properly honor and acknowledge the day.
I sent an email (and this is advice from a db coach) on my 1st anniversary saying "I will be thinking of you today. Just wanted to let you know." But we don't have kids so the idea with the kid pic might be even better.
Me-40 W-41 Together-10 M-8 S-6 S-4 Bomb 5/08 Bomb 10/08 Thought things were better, was wrong. Still living together Wife doesn't think she will ever love me again.
I think the sadest, most tender thing I ever heard my H say was when he said he missed my "nearness". It wasn't just the sex for him, either. It is the closeness that the person misses.
Sure hope the retreat helps!
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
I had said the same thing to W in the beginnig of the Great Sadness. I told her I missed touching legs when we slept and held hands and just leaned on each other. She didn't seem too impressed. Oh well. She hasn't told me if she called Retro yet, and I don't want to ask for fear of pushing her.
Me-40 W-41 Together-10 M-8 S-6 S-4 Bomb 5/08 Bomb 10/08 Thought things were better, was wrong. Still living together Wife doesn't think she will ever love me again.
One thing I don't understand. One minute, W and I are getting along fine, the next minute I am either talked to in short sentances and basically treated like I should be avoided. I am trying to be friendly and act "as if". It is disheartening. I don't know what her true feelings are.
Me-40 W-41 Together-10 M-8 S-6 S-4 Bomb 5/08 Bomb 10/08 Thought things were better, was wrong. Still living together Wife doesn't think she will ever love me again.
