Quote: forgiveness is not an easy thing to come by but I think far to many of us get stuck in thinking they alone must forgive. We each must learn to forgive us and our spouses..forgive ourselves and forgive them..move on and make things better for ourselves and our marriages..holding on to the past indiscretions will not get us there.
OK, I took out part of what you said, I edited it! It I love what it says! In other words both parties must forgive themselves and each other, is that what you meant?
OK, I took out part of what you said, I edited it! It I love what it says! In other words both parties must forgive themselves and each other, is that what you meant?
Deb
yup! means don't get caught up in holding a grudge against your spouse for whatever their indiscretions were..if they are making up for them look at that instead.
and also don't get caught up in blaming yourself for whatever happend either...living life on egg shells is no place to be...I think that's part of the reason so many at one time lbs's become waw's themselves..they never learn to just be.
I can't help but think this might be ow..of course it could be anybody or nobody but somebody slashed two of the tires on one of h's work trucks last night!
why is it that she was the first person to pop into my mind when he told me this morning about the truck?!
Quote: How much encouragement do you require? What kind of sign do you need to see before you can feel sure that it is safe to breathe easy? You seem to be looking for some full, final confirmation of a recent success. Each time you see a small, potentially significant piece of possible proof, you want to subject it to a battery of harsh tests. In the process of doing this, you are effectively rejecting re-assurance. Save yourself unnecessary heartache and headache. Trust what looks good. It is good! And success now, is about THAT simple.
How much encouragement do you require? What kind of sign do you need to see before you can feel sure that it is safe to breathe easy? You seem to be looking for some full, final confirmation of a recent success. Each time you see a small, potentially significant piece of possible proof, you want to subject it to a battery of harsh tests. In the process of doing this, you are effectively rejecting re-assurance. Save yourself unnecessary heartache and headache. Trust what looks good. It is good! And success now, is about THAT simple.
Well, after last night, I was high, and then this morning I started the "doubt" game. thank God Kitti came online and chatted with me; got me back on track!
Then I came here and read your post and thought "how did she know"! I need to copy it and put it on my forehead. What baby steps I'm seeing is something to celebrate!
I will take it slow and keep doing what works! And who knows, maybe I'll make it to the "success stories". Maybe, heck, "I'm going to be one"!
Quote: what was kinda funny is that as my h and I sat there (on one chair mind you) watching the couple dance, I counted out the years and realized it would be 2047 by the time we'd reach our 50th...I told him and thought we wouldn't be around then (not not together just that year seems to far away to still be alive) he looked at me and said you bet will will and kissed me on the cheek! I think he was assuming I was implying not together.
Love Goddess, funny you mention this, 4 years before the D, my XW bro left his wife of 18 years. And XW ask me if that was going to happen to us. I said "naw, you are going to bury me' and I got a nice hug. Go figure.
PS: Her whole family is FU, all have been divorce at least once, 2 twice, and one is pure slut, who gave up custody of her first boy. Fruit from the same tree.
Quote: what was kinda funny is that as my h and I sat there (on one chair mind you) watching the couple dance, I counted out the years and realized it would be 2047 by the time we'd reach our 50th...I told him and thought we wouldn't be around then (not not together just that year seems to far away to still be alive) he looked at me and said you bet will will and kissed me on the cheek! I think he was assuming I was implying not together.
Love Goddess, funny you mention this, 4 years before the D, my XW bro left his wife of 18 years. And XW ask me if that was going to happen to us. I said "naw, you are going to bury me' and I got a nice hug. Go figure.
PS: Her whole family is FU, all have been divorce at least once, 2 twice, and one is pure slut, who gave up custody of her first boy. Fruit from the same tree.
poe,
just curious, what exactly are you trying to say here? or are you just venting about your sit and making no actual correlation to mine?? if that is so no problem just wondering if you were trying to say that I should give no credence to h's response to my statement.
LL who has just gotten power back after being without for 24 hours!!
h off to miami for the weekend with buddie to watch the pats play.
woke me early in the am to say goodbye and ILY!!
I called him when I woke to appologize if I had been grumpy (son woke as he was leaving 4am ish) and my cold has settled in my ear leaving me pretty deaf with a metalic echo (very odd) he sounded pretty sad for someone who was going away for a weekend..
I told him not to feel guilty and that wasn't the reason for my call...
h said he doesn't like leaving us he already misses me and the kids.
h called back upon ariving to the airport.
h called back again while sitting on the runway preparing for takeoff.
h said he'd call again when he lands.
let's hope the pats can win sunday...last nights sox game was pretty dissapointing especially since I've watched all of them with h. after the game last night h hugged me and praised me for doing such a good job hanging in there watching the games and kinda laughed a bit at my dissapointment at the loss (guess it's one thing for him to care but another for me to be using lamaze breathing to get through stressfull innnings)
I'll miss him...the kids'll miss him but perhaps this will be yet another example for us as to how far we've come.
just curious, what exactly are you trying to say here? or are you just venting about your sit and making no actual correlation to mine?? if that is so no problem just wondering if you were trying to say that I should give no credence to h's response to my statement.
Funny you said this, when I was reading the post from poe; I was thinking the same thing!
What I say is: "you are doing great" and I hope you 2 old folks make it to your 50th! Even if you can't remember who you are! LOL
Missing your H? Ain't love grand? He'll be home before you know it!
