I mean, if you think about Einstein's theories of space and time, they mean that everything is connected on an energy level. So it's not so crazy to think that we can actually sense the world on a deeper level.
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
mmm. Well I've certainly noticed this kind of thing happening so there is something to it. On the other hand, using that theory then, couldn't we just meditate our ex's back into our lives? Yet that doesn't work - er..... not that I would know. ;-/
Switches in breaker box now throwing 5 inch sparks. Had to shut them off. Maybe I already mentioned that yesterday? Anyway, no electric outlet in my bedroom, No ligts in hallway, kitchen, or daughter's bedroom. I want to ask.... What next? But I know better than to tempt fate with this question.
On my way across the Hudson. Horrors. I'm apartment searching in Jersey. I have reached desperation. (Xuse me any jerseyites, i like your state. just didn't think I would have to leave the state to find a home!!!} Saw 5 on thurs, 5 fri, 2 this a.m. Jeez. Where is my home hiding? I'll soon know if I've been looking in the wrong bourough. Jersey Girls? Hmm... Wide sweeping views of manhattan in every room. ok lets see. wish me luck I think
Hi R: Wanted to stop by and catch up a little on you. Thanks for posting to me.
Ummmm...a cat?
Hmmmm. Methinks there are definitely deeper issues.
Will think on this...
((((Hugs))))
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
Hi LolaL I know it's deeper than the cat. But BF is stuck on the cat thing, he won't admit it's beyond that. He said I found the one impossible thing of all things that made him leave. Recently he said he knew he'd have to go when I was bringing home apartment listings from the coffee shop. Apparently before that moment he was only saying he was leaving, then I pushed him over the edge. Instead of pleading that he stay, I tried to help him. He made the ultimatum and then felt like he couldn't back down without losing face. Willing to walk away from a r and a woman he loves for his pride. It's pretty weird to me. All the guys will say it's about how I disrespected him. All the cat haters will just say duh, of course he left. I'm still amazed. I thought I had enough influence on him tho that he couldn't resist me. I planned to resume the r as soon as he settled into his new digs, just long enough to miss me and realize his foolishness. But once he was out, he's not going to let anyone think he might have made a mistake, so he'll stick to the resolve. Stubborn. I thought his pride would shrink in time, but doesn't seem to be. thanks for the hugs. I'm ok with it all. I don't like it. I miss him. But I'm not a wreck. As he says... Life goes on. I'm here to keep my focus straight. Understand fully what happened, how I contributed, what mistakes we made - so that I can improve myself. I want to be with him, but telling him so wasn't making it happen. I'm willing to try this strategy - if all else fails, I'm doing what I should be doing to have a happy fullfilling life. Well that's the goal anyway. First I need an apartment. Then I can make some of the lifestyle changes i know I should make.
The apt. in Jersey was nice. Nothing about it was outstanding, but it had all the major features I hoped to find - a yard, a laundry room, lots of closets, an eat in kitchen which has room for my dishwasher, an on site super. It's more than I wanted to spend, but the view of the city was pretty fantastic and it felt glamorous to be on the waterfront. I'll have to think about it. It's a contender.
p.s. I don't think you should waste any time thinking deeper about the reasons marky left. A certain amount of looking back is helpful, but I'm getting past that and just want to move into the future. Hope he's there. If not, he's missing out. We were a great odd couple and I know I brought a lot of fun into his life. If he wants to be without us so he can be cat free... well I can't help him with that. He may find a catless woman who hasn't the ambition, the heart, the funloving spirit of his ex afterall. I think he's some kind of tragedy, and I feel sorry for the both of us, and his son that he took it to this point. Onward
Wow. I JUST posted about how if I would think about him enough he'd be nearby. Yesterday a.m. my D says, OMG Mom, Mark is right behind us. There we were stuck at a red light with my heart's desire right on our tail. He was behind us for about 4-5 blks before turning. Was weird. I pretended I didn't see him, my heart was racing. Maybe he'll be thinking of me too. I used to see him on the road often, but it's been a long time. And far as I know, this would be the 1st time he saw me on the road. Pathetic that I'm even writing about that. Weehaken was actually quite lovely and the Blvd on the Hudson was a beautiful location. The Manhattan view was impressive. It took less than 1/2 hr to get there, apt. was good and had all the features I want. But it will cost me $13 a day to get into the city between me and D. That makes it too expensive. I drive and the tunnel is $8. I work 6 days - And D would take a very convienent bus to Manhattan then transfer to the train. Very easy, but would be $5. extra roundtrip. Keep looking. I have had a thought. If LL has no c of o, can she legally take me to landlord/tenant court? If she's not a real landlord but a fraud? II think I've stumbled on a very valid point. No c of o = not really landlord. If your bldg isn't zoned to collect rent money than how can I be taken to court. The property law says a LL wo the c of o can seek eviction but not recover financially. But I wonder if it could be argued that she can't even legally bring the case to court for eviction. And if that point is valid, then NY's squatter laws would protect me and she'd never be able to get me out.......( legally.) Not that I want to stay in this selfdestructing bldg, but I may be able to avoid court while I continue to look for my new home. I think I am getting to the point of needing a lawyer, tried to avoid it. I need real advice. Aside from hiring a lawyer, where would I go to explore my new defense? Should I call the DA? Oh I'm just thinking out loud. I certainly am not on a marriage saving board asking this in earnest. See 3 more apts. today. I've enlisted the help of a few brokers now. They tell me if I can wait until Dec. or Jan, there will be much more on the market and prices will be better than they are now. But how can I hang on until then with the situation deteriorating rapidly. I might look at rent to own. There's so many homes headed to foreclosure and the banks don't really want them. I may get into something with no down payment. I'm going to explore that. Maybe that's what the destined move is and that's why I can't find an apartment. It's divine intervention. I was going to move into a cheaper apt to save a down payment with hopes to buy in the next 2 yrs or so. Maybe I can bypass the apt. step. I could really use a crystal ball sometimes. Anyone have it?
