HI Mac Glad to see you are feeling more positive now, now you need to keep those positive thoughts going and expand on them use them to your advantage.
Easy day - I know what I'm doing. Should be finished early and tehn have to tidy up the house ready for visitors tonight. On a Thursday - again. Dread to think what my head's going to feel like tomorrow
Bizarre - J the "friend" just sent a text to me thanking me for a DVD that I made for the two of them. It's the second one I sent through.
Black Books - BritCom. I didn't get a thanks (or anything from "friend" since the text attack way back 3rd July!!!) for the first one but now I get this.
"Hi thanks a stack for the DVD. Looking forward to watching it."
And the reply (couldn't resist 2x4's at the ready.)
"Absolute pleasure. And there's one more series to go. Give W a hug from me. Hugs!"
Good grief!
I have a touch of suspicion here. I reckon that J has worked out that being nasty to me with everyone is backfiring. I may be wrong but I'm gonna keep on doing what I'm doing.
It must be a pain attacking someone that doesn't rise to the bait. And everyone else (family AND friends) are seeing me as a normal getting-on-with it guy.
Anyone with comments about me sending W the odd inspirational card?
Glad to hear you are doing better and your PMA is improving greatly...I won't even give you my comment about sending her a card...You know the answer to that without even posting it here...Just like I do when I get the urge to pursue...That is why we come here so someone can gently nudge us back to what we need to be doing for us
(((Hugs)))
"At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don't give up" Galatians 6:9
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
Your Galatians 6:9 hit me where it should - right in the old ticker.
HOWEVER (please shoot me down on this if you feel strongly) - in one of the threads JJ had exactly the same problem. He got round this by being totally un-confrontational. But very encouraging. Very small things that the significant other can't see as any sort of threat or pressure (maybe there is pressure - pressure to reciprocate).
And I quote:
Quote:
"Choosing the medium" is an important decision when it comes to contact with your partner. Should it be by phone, text message, face-to-face, e-mail, cards, letters, television ads, sky-writing, etc., etc.? (What are some more possibilities?)
In my situation, my wife had a LOT going on while we were apart from each other. Phone calls didn't work because either it was a bad time, she kept getting interupted, or her phone battery would go dead. E-mail didn't work, because she had no computer access. Face-to-face didn't work because of all that she had going on in her life, and this method usually turned out bad.
One thing that DID work well for me was cards. She always loved the cards I gave to her, because of the things that I would write inside of them. Made her cry almost all of the time (happy tears, btw!). So, I began by sending her cards, some funny, friend type of ones, without all the mushy writing. No OR talk, just hey, how you doing. I sent her 2 cards for her birthday, one from me, one from the dog, both very funny. I also sent her one around the time of an annual trade show of mine that we were both very involved in, telling her my appreciation of the tolerance and enthusiasm she had for how involved I was with this show in years past. I skipped any cards for our anniversary and Valentine's Day.
How did the cards work? Well, pretty good actually. It took over a week for her to acknowledge that she got them, and, even then, it wasn't a huge response. However, after I sent them, she did initiate the contact with me by phone, and made it a point to "make the time" for us to talk a bit. The talks soon began to become more frequent, for a longer duration, and slooowly became much deeper.
What are some more possibilities for "mediums"? What things haven't you thought of, or tried, yet? What small contacts could you do to start the butterfly effect in motion?
So now where do I stand? Try to out-stubborn my W?
Please don't forget - I know her. She's very easily led. Funny that I can get a response out of someone vehemently opposed to me (the "friend") and not my wife. How does doing what I'm doing affect the relationship between the "friend" and I, but not my W. Do I wait until it percolates down into my W's subconscious?
And what caused the reply? A funny DVD given out of the blue because it was funny. Didn't cost a dime.
Please try to explain this to me because I'm at a loss as to why I shouldn't continue with this approach. Which is working. Targeting is a bit off - but it's working.
Is the no contact a rule written in stone? So we both sit on our a$$'s waiting for the other to actually do something. Waiting.
VERY confusing. Open to discussion folks ....... I have a feeling that a lot of people are asking the same thing.
