I am new here and just posted my story. But I had a question about GAL. My GAL seems to have angered my H. He gets very upset when I mention doing anything. As a matter of fact this weekend when he found out I was going out with some friends, he texted me saying I see you have moved on now and now I can too. He said I don't need him anymore and don't want him to come home.
He said I don't need him anymore and don't want him to come home.
He's trying to control the situation and you. Expect more of the "I was going to come back, but you did X" type statements.
He's also trying to mind read you. Tell him he does not know what you think/want, but if he wants to know, just ask you.
One of the things that will be important isto stop worrying about what H might think if you do something. As long as what you do is the right thing FOR YOU, then what H thinks/does is irrelevant.
Really, say this: I am just going out with friends. I encourage you to do the same thing. I'll be home at whatever time. If you like we can make plans to do something together later this week. But really, I'm just getting some girl time.
I was afraid that my husband would perceive my GAL as moving on and then provide him with more fire to move on without me, but I think I'm learning that GAL is for you and you alone. If he is angry then it is because he is hurt that he isn't controlling you and your emotions. I see you have a baby due in October - this is a good time to go out and have some fun before the baby gets here. I wish you well!
M-35 H-37 Ds 5 and 2 Bomb 6/09 EA/PA since 3/09 sep. since 6/09 Married 13, together 17
HIW M 35 H 37 D 5, D 2 Married 1996 Dating 1992 Met 1988 EA/PA started March 2009 Bomb 6/16/2009 Separated 6/23/2009
He said I don't need him anymore and don't want him to come home.
He's trying to control the situation and you. Expect more of the "I was going to come back, but you did X" type statements.
Yes. It's complete WAS script. My H never said it like that, but his actions and body language sure said it. I was supposed to be all crumpled and devastated, and instead I was living my life. He'd come home to an empty house, and sort of be whiny when I returned. NEVER asked me where I'd been or what I was doing or who I was with, and I never offered.
Your changes and your happiness will irk the alien. They are miserable, moving out and blaming you hasn't made them feel better (or their problems go away), and you have the nerve to be *gasp* functional.
"I'm sorry you feel that way, H, but it's just not true. I am simply taking time to enjoy my friends."
Aliens are a bunch of weirdos.
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
He's trying to control the situation and you. Expect more of the "I was going to come back, but you did X" type statements.
I have already gotten those statements! "Just as I was letting you back in" or "I was really thinking about coming home..."
Are these good things? I'm trying to give myself a little hope, because I am feeling really down these days. Does this mean he is feeling badly about his decision and thinking about R? Or is this the same BS?
As others have said, he is just being a control freak. He wants to be out on his own having fun as long as you are simply boo-hooing in the house without a life. You are doing nothing wrong by going out and having fun. You don't owe him details, he is no longer living with you.
Your GAL is good for your own physical and emotional well being and, in it's own way, it is making you more attractive to your H. He's paying attention to you.
ITA...that is line with him getting mad when I didn't call/txt him for a night. He was irate, and told me that he wants me to call/txt him so he knows I am thinking about him BUT that he will ignore me. WTH?
In your opinions or experiences, when they are "ignoring" us, are they still thinking about us? Do they think about us as much as we think about them?
It all depends....each situation is different. In yours...I would say he's now thinking more about you than anything else. Keep the distance, but walk a fine line. He's sounds like a kid having a temper tantrum.
