Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy WAW wants to get togeather?

thank you! i will... I feel sort of like well why should i be friends but some posts say well if you are there when they are ready its a matter of reconnecting but..
at the same time I feel if they are ready they will make the extra effort to contact and tell you they are ready and will do everything they can to show you they made a big major mistake and want you back. if you will even take them back by then.

I think that the other side of it is, at some point, you will be ready to be her friend, the pain and anger will fade with time, and you will be able to look past whats happened. My problem is I feel like I have made progress in that area, but I am sort of waiting for the next insult. For the other shoe to drop. And let me say right now, if that happens, Im hiring a lawyer!

My DB coach said that the first step is re-establishing your friendship. However, if you arent ready to do that, and come to terms with your emotions, it will be in vain, no matter how hard you try, things will resurface eventually.

And I agree, if they decide that you are the one you want to be with, not much will stop them!

the thing is, how do you be "friends" with someone who betrayed you? I don't have friends like that in my life.

well today she texted me again..

she said
"I need to see the kids more often. can u please help? "

I have been thinking this and ofcourse over thinking too im sure. at first I thought well maybe have the lawyer contact her but then i thought well you know why waist my money she has yet to pay for ANY of the kids daycare much less other things for them.
she ignores them and plays with her young friends for the most part when she has them on her weekends. and like a friend said she knows where they are she has fridays off she does not need your help it's just her trying to gain control over me again

Kimmie, Im not sure, I was so angry. I dont want to be his friend I thought, friends dont do things like that. I think that thats where processing your emotions and forgiveness comes in. And I think thats why everyone says time is your friend.

How does she propose to start spending more time with the kids? Do you think that this could be a child support issue? Do you think that she really wants to see them more often? I know that you said she ignores them, but does she actually seem to miss them?

WOW ok, i guess she called at 5:30 today but I was working in the new room and i had the stereo going and the kids were playing i never heard it. so after 7:30 she called and i answered (home line and well i will always answer that line for her because it's our saftey line for the kids sake)

ok long story short I was short with her on the phone when she asked when she could talk to the kids. i told her they were asleep already as they were. then I let her go
so she called back and said why dont u respond to my questions. I thought for a bit (anoyed i was on the spot) said wellI dont have an answer. she then went on to say she feels im keeping her out of the kids lives. I said no but i was buisy and needed to let her go.

So she then instantly texts me asking if she can come over and talk to me.. I was shocked and said I was buisy and then said maybe thursday. she said if i was buisy she would deal with her problem her self then.
then she said sorry for bugging you i will let you go. then I texted her well if it's tonight only as friends ok. she says well if your buisy i dont want to force you... i waited and said its ok for to night and she came over

now it got odd she was missing the kids as it seems, she feels worthless as a mother has no drive anymore... skips work ect. she says she is a bad person. it kept comming out. she was upset i wanted my space or as she put it didnt want to be her friend. oh she sounded like she was thnking of killer herself and i told her it would only hurt the kids and not solve anything.

we just kept talking and hugging and holding our hands.. she would say how she wanted to be with me but was unhappy and never thought it would get like this. she sounds very confused. she says she is affraid to tell me she wants to be with me because she is a fraid it might only be because she feels she has to be with me to see the kids. I told her i understood (I did a ton of validating tonight) she was hugging me so much so tight. she was having a hardtime leaving. oh it was so hard not telling her to come home. we tallked so much and she just seemed so so confused on what she wanted but she sure seems like she wants me in her life but cant grasp that part (my thought is she never used to want to see the girls or my son so bad until i stopped talkingto her. she needs time to think.

i just cant belive tonight still IDK what to think... she said so much so much made sense its clear she is not to a point in her path that she can make any choice but the fact she was talking so clear and made so much sense the whole night was much better than i expected. i thought MLC would have her still going off crazy like.. dont get me wrong i can see she still has the lessons of her actions to really learn still and prob that jail time too but just the shock of the way she used to talk in riddles and constant back and forth talk taking in and saying things that made no sense to this seems like some of the fog has lifted but she is still in the middle of the fog

you should have had sex.