Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy WAW wants to get togeather?

are you interested in moving on with your life or in a relationship with her?

well i still want to be with her but I know I cant show her that with out looking "needy"

however she conciders me a friend I guess... she told me today she conciders me a good friend and told me stuff about her roomate that she has to help her with tonight

well, she pissed me off really bad today! i think we are done! she is just too controling and selfish for me to put myself through this..

in short she had decided to tell me today that some days she wants to be back and other times no. she is happy now, and we will never work out. i told her ok, and i said i will still be your friend but i said I wanted some time to myself (past posts show how she always contacts me) she flipped said im too up/dn and called me an ass

I waited several hours and texted her back and pretty much held nothing back at all. (didn't bring up the past though) told her how she treats me and the kids ect. told her i was done and to leave me alone! she kept texting me back with her comments and shots at me and each time i told her to stop it and leave me alone! it got so bad i lost my cool told her I now hated her she wrote me back saying WOW i cant belive you and had the crying smilie face.

I decided I now have the hardest road ahead of me and that is to not allow her to contact me unless it is only for the kids. i always found hope with her mixed messages and her constant texts and phone calls but she did this..

it was a step back? or as my friends say a step forward with my life.

as much as I hate to give up on our marraige i guess it is prob best. i know I should be happier and i can find a more honest person to share my life with.

Its interesting. She might actually respond to this! You took all of her waffling and made a decision for her. Now you have to hold your end up. If you told her that the only contact would be about the kids.

I dont understand how you have been up/dn at least as far as being openly up/dn. On here you have been hopeful, but it sounds like you have been pretty consistent with her. I laid into my H the other night about how frustrated I was and he responded immediately! Someone said something on my thread about how sometimes they need us to call them out on their bad behavior. And she has been extremely up/dn! Holey mixed messages from her!

I dont think that it was a step back. It was you finally pushing back and not accepting her crap. Good for you, women like strong men! Whether you are intersted in repairing your M or not, hopefully she will learn to respect you a little more, and that will be beneficial to you, not matter what happens with the M.

Thanks for the support!
I figured i went way over the edge by calling her out. I just could not belive when i asked to have time and for her to leave me alone for awhile she called me a name and got mad at me.
I want the M to work but I just get so tired of the day to day stuff she throws my way. I have a hard enough time taking care of the kids and she has yet to pay for anything.
I feel like she just gets to play and the courts dont care. the stress im under everyday trying to pay for daycare, the bills, food getting the kids taken care of everyday and then she acts blames me like im the reason for everything she has done wrong in her life.
Im the bad person because i was trying to save our M, when we lived togeather I helped out so much! she is being so selfish

from your descriptions of your converstions with your wife, she seems to be the one that is needy.



I think you were making her confused over the space you were giving her. in hindsight, it might have been better to have just ignored her and leave her to think more about the situation.



not sure that was such a good idea but I am pretty sure she is going to continue texting you. sounds like you are now the walk away spouse. prepare yourself for more pursuit and confusing behavior. you both are suffering. you need to take some time to realize what you really want then in time find out if she is willing to commit to working on your relationship. what committed and behaviours to you desire from her and is she capable of providing you those?

from your earlier posts it sounded like she just wanted to play with you. I think you could have used her for some sex, but you were looking for more just that from her. you will have more than just another chance to call her out on her position in your marriage. the more you pull back the more she is going to pursue. i think it is just going to take more time of you finding yourself, the problem though is she going to know herself well enough for you to be happy in a marriage with her? Steve.

Well no call or text from her today but i dont doubt after a week or more i will hear from her (well i will have to next friday due to the kids) but the only hint she was around was she decided to send me the usual poke on FB.

today I sent the lawyer the amounts she owes the day care(s) and he is sending this to the court along with the fact she was already in contempt for the finacial papers she never gave him or the court. she will have some harsh feeling towards me when this comes to light but hey I have to be the adult and put my kids first. even her mom told me to. she said if she had the kids and I was in her place my wife would do the same.

its not looking good but my guess is months on end of me standing my ground and maybe her time in jail will set her strait to the real world if not well then i guess nothing lost since she wont pay now

Those arent things that she can blame you for. Or if she does you can remind her that if she chose not to pay, the daycare could have sued her for nonpayment.

Also, you arent the bad guy for trying to save your M, you are the bad guy, for being you. Thats the only reason. She blames you for everything. If she stubbed her toe this morning she could figure out a way to make it your stupid fault. I know that from my personal exp. Everything for a while was my H's stupid fault. And I mean everything. It doesnt mean that she will always feel this way, or that shes right. But thats how she feels right now, and telling her that shes wrong, or trying to defend yourself just wont be productive right now.

I agree that losing your cool was bad, but eh, we all screw up sometimes. Time to move on.

childish games!

who initiated the divorce? or are you still trying to iron out a seperation agreement?

well she wanted the divorce then changed her mind twice


then her mom called me again last night... IDK when does this stupid stuff end? her mom was asking her stuff then she said to her mom that I'm insaine because she said we are over and i flipped out.. and not to talk to me or she cant see the kids again