Hi Andrew, Well, I'm a member to the "Parting of clouds in the midst of a storm" club! CAW had already let it be known that she had seen a lawyer about D and I had just found out the week before she was in contact with Social Services about child support as well. She was being openly hostile to me, so I felt it was a matter of days before I was going to be served with papers. I decided I'd better get a lawyer. After coming home from a consult (which she didn't know about) , she sat me down and said I want to try to work on us. When we hugged, I still had lawyer's business card in my shirt pocket and she felt it and asked what it was. I just told her it was a card from a vendor from work. :crazy ... and that was it, the clouds parted and the sun shined on ...
Keeping my fingers crossed for your deal, hope it goes through sooner rather than later.
Thanks for that. I smetomes wonder whether out 'getting back togeher' happened too quickly, too easily and we didnt have any of those long deep R talks that others have. We have talked about it butits almost of that part has been compartmentalised and put behind us. We are going to see a C when I get back to Aus to help us with our communication. We arent having a problem but I think it is the main this that we need to have help on.
Thanks for the reply
Andrew
_________________________________________________
To go forward you have to put the past behind you
Not much happening here. Still waiting for the finance for the project although things are looking positive this week. So still under a lot of financial pressure causing a little bit of strain between us, but nothing that we arenet able to work through.
I have found myself over the last week really missing home and my wife. I really do want to get back there soon, but I cant until the finance comes in and I can get things going here. I got a bit upset with my wife when I talked to her once looking for support and had a push back from her saying she is having problems coping at the moment and not to call her up if Im going to dump my problems on her. I was frustrated by this as I thought support is supposed to be a two way street and I cant be the giver of it at all times. So our conversation was a bit strained and ended up with her getting quite upset at me.
She called me up about an hour after this and apologised. I know she is the one wearing all of the financial pressure at home and i have to remember this. She even apologised for 'dumping' her problems on me and I told her that is what I am here for. I know we need to be together for a bit so Im going to aim to get back there as soon as I can.
I know relieving the financial pressure is going to make things much easier, getting rid of those debt collectors is going to make life much better. We are both looking forward to seeing each other so this is all good.
Well even though I havnt got the book I have figured out from the board here that my wife LL is gifts. I have alays misuderstood this. She use to always get me a little gift when she went shopping (could just be some sweets, a book, a tie or something) and I never realised this and the significance of it. Also from what I have read here my LL is words of affirmation and touch (Im going to ask her to pick the book up for me in Australia - and hopefully read it). So today I sent her a dozen red roses with a nice message that will show up at her house tomorrow. Im not a big flower person, typical male person I think well they are going to die in a few days so its a waste of money - well DAH forgve me and my poor male radar here.
Im going to make a point of getting something sent to her each week, nothing big just a gift to let her know that I am thinking of her. I want to keep some element of suprise in this so I will put my mind into thinking of unique gifts ways to deliver them.
Anyway, the champagne is still in the fridge, dont think I will get to it this week btu next week is looking more hopeful.
Andrew
_________________________________________________
To go forward you have to put the past behind you
Havent had contact with Dark since Monday. He was going well but the weekend wasnt all that it could be for him. I wont say too much he can post when he is ready for it. Its obvious his W still has a lot of feelings there its just that she is still in her fog, my opinion anyway. I wouldnt be suprised if he has a bit of a break from the board as I think he is trying to put a few things behind him.
Andrew
_________________________________________________
To go forward you have to put the past behind you
Well a little quick update for me, the flowers worked a heap. She even took them to her friends to 'show' them off. So thi is a definiate for filing away under things that work. We even had a good generalychat about us and I feel more confident then ever that we are going to be ok. My wife even said to me that I may drive her crazy sometimes but the one thing she learnt from our time apart is that she cant live without me .
Anyway still no money here but still keeping on working.
Andrew
_________________________________________________
To go forward you have to put the past behind you
Quote: Im not a big flower person, typical male person I think well they are going to die in a few days so its a waste of money - well DAH forgve me and my poor male radar here.
That got me LOL! I'm the same way. The only flower I would give her were potted ones ... at least then they would last longer, but they never received the enthusiasm that a bouquet of the fresh cut flowers get.
Quote: Im going to make a point of getting something sent to her each week, nothing big just a gift to let her know that I am thinking of her. I want to keep some element of suprise in this so I will put my mind into thinking of unique gifts ways to deliver them.
This is an excellent change to make and can have a very big effect, especially over large distances.
I hope you see some results very soon on your goals to physically get closer to what you want.
I can but hope. It looks like it wont come in for at least two weeks which is really cutting things far to fine for me. Oh well there is nothing I can do about it but concentrate on what I have to do. One of the things about being in India for this long is that you do start to have a different view on life.
Andrew
_________________________________________________
To go forward you have to put the past behind you