My manager told me yesterday I was getting an 11% raise - based on merit, not the promotion. This makes up for the 5% pay cut that I had to take this year, as well as the fact that I didn't get a raise last year and gets me to where I should be after almost 3 years at this company.
Wish I could tell H about it, but I think it's wise to keep this one to myself for a while!
Me - 30, H - 32 T - 10, M - 6, D - 1 DD#1 - 4, DD#2 - 2 on/off OW 4/09 - sometime Summer 2010 (Told me about OW 4/10) Separated 6/11/09, divorced 8/4/10, trying again 9/2011
Hey, dmk, whether you send it in writing or say it to him, try to take out ANY hint of feelings. Keep it strictly businesslike...think of how a lawyer might write to an opposition lawyer if they didn't get tangled up in that legal terminology that nobody else understands! Write/talk all you want about your feelings...but NOT NOT NOT to him! And if you choose to say it to him instead of writing, don't let him derail you into discussing R or feelings; just listen and validate and/or calmly and politely keep returning focus to business, whatever he says.
I think we can just about bet that any indication you give about your feelings at this point will, at best, be ignored, and at worse, set him off into craziness, and you may end up hearing about it years later. Not a good scenario.
Just my 2 cents...
Peace, Dawn
Me 45/H 47, no kids Together since 1985; M/1992 Bomb1 (EA-OW1, age 22) 2001 Bomb2 (EA/PA-OW2, age 22) 10/2007, A continues H left 11/24/08 minimal contact, no legal action http://tinyurl.com/DawnHope1
I did just that... I sent an even shorter version than my revised version, along with a spreadsheet of the bills.
His text response was a little rude - wanting to know about the $700 that he gave me towards paying off my car and then being hesitant about lending him money to have his fixed. I asked if there were strings attached to the $700, or I wouldn't have taken it at the time, and that I thought it was natural for me to be hesitant to share family resources when he had told me just a few days before that he didn't want to be married anymore.
When he came over yesterday, I asked him if he thought that I was attacking him with my requests for money (I hadn't received anything from him in over a month) - he said yes and I assured him that it was not the case, there was nothing personal in regards to the money, but it was important that the shared bills be taken care of for DD's sake.
But I think I won - I'm at least getting more than $200 from him today.
Me - 30, H - 32 T - 10, M - 6, D - 1 DD#1 - 4, DD#2 - 2 on/off OW 4/09 - sometime Summer 2010 (Told me about OW 4/10) Separated 6/11/09, divorced 8/4/10, trying again 9/2011
I assured him that it was not the case, there was nothing personal in regards to the money, but it was important that the shared bills be taken care of for DD's sake.
...probably all he heard was "blah blah blah." (Think of the adults in the Charlie Brown cartoons.)
They don't believe anything we say unless they have firm proof to back it up (interestingly enough, we can't believe anything THEY say either!).
Hope you are managing okay with the pregnancy and that baby comes soon!
Peace, Dawn
Me 45/H 47, no kids Together since 1985; M/1992 Bomb1 (EA-OW1, age 22) 2001 Bomb2 (EA/PA-OW2, age 22) 10/2007, A continues H left 11/24/08 minimal contact, no legal action http://tinyurl.com/DawnHope1
I told him if I really wanted to get to him, I'd just get a lawyer.
I'm hanging in there - had an OB check today and no progress from last week, but she will be shocked if I show up at my appointment on Thurs.
H talked about how little sleep he's getting, how his attitude change (not a good one) has been noticed at work, etc. I don't know if he's trying to get me to feel sorry for him or what. I can't do anything for his attitude.
My attitude change has been noticed at work as well, obviously I hear that I'm glowing so much more than I did before the bomb. Even though I'm gigantic and uncomfy as hell.
Me - 30, H - 32 T - 10, M - 6, D - 1 DD#1 - 4, DD#2 - 2 on/off OW 4/09 - sometime Summer 2010 (Told me about OW 4/10) Separated 6/11/09, divorced 8/4/10, trying again 9/2011
I am never having this baby. I'm obviously going to be pregnant forever.
Me - 30, H - 32 T - 10, M - 6, D - 1 DD#1 - 4, DD#2 - 2 on/off OW 4/09 - sometime Summer 2010 (Told me about OW 4/10) Separated 6/11/09, divorced 8/4/10, trying again 9/2011
I am never having this baby. I'm obviously going to be pregnant forever.
Um, aren't you still a week shy of your due date? I obviously have no experience with this, never having been pregnant myself, but it seems to me that it's a little early to issue statements like that! I was born 3 weeks late myself...not that any self-respecting OB would let that happen today!
Hang in there!
Peace, Dawn
Me 45/H 47, no kids Together since 1985; M/1992 Bomb1 (EA-OW1, age 22) 2001 Bomb2 (EA/PA-OW2, age 22) 10/2007, A continues H left 11/24/08 minimal contact, no legal action http://tinyurl.com/DawnHope1
LOL, I am... I could safely go another three weeks.
I've been dilated to 4 cm for almost two weeks - if I dilate anymore the baby is going to fall out.
It's just that once you get close to the end, you feel like it's never going to end! And it's a really hot week this week.
Me - 30, H - 32 T - 10, M - 6, D - 1 DD#1 - 4, DD#2 - 2 on/off OW 4/09 - sometime Summer 2010 (Told me about OW 4/10) Separated 6/11/09, divorced 8/4/10, trying again 9/2011
I've never posted to you before..not up on your situation, but am delighted to add my congratulations on your impending delivery!! I know how hard it gets at the very end. Have you started the whole 'nesting' thing and had your burst of energy yet???
Women are angels. And when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly...on a broomstick. We are flexible
Plan a big party or something that will require you to make a thousand phone calls if you go into labor right before it is to happen. That always works!
I hear that I'm glowing so much more than I did before the bomb. Even though I'm gigantic and uncomfy as hell.