It was kinda rhetorical. I was trying to emphasize how much I want to, but through an extraordinary force of will, I can wait. I like what you said about the "just" sentence. I will try that.
Me-40 W-41 Together-10 M-8 S-6 S-4 Bomb 5/08 Bomb 10/08 Thought things were better, was wrong. Still living together Wife doesn't think she will ever love me again.
You seem comfortable with the card/kids focus and I do think it is always appropriate to remember that, but for the marriage, these wonderful people would not be in your world...
Are there any live shows or comedians in the area? If it's half decent, It would entertain well, bond you some in laughter or just the experience of it, and yet have no romantic pressure? And it's a bigger deal than a movie, so it shows it's a special day. Just a thought.
Well thanks to the guys on this board I guess I won't be asking my h for a long "therapeutic" back rub -- unless I'm ready to "share turns"...(sheesh you guys! Guess Puppy's right since you ALL chimed in with the same message) I was hoping to fall asleep from a lovely, loving massage, which now makes me sound super NOT fun....okay, fine, I'll stay awake and "be in the moment." Otherwise I have to pay someone else for the massage...hey what if I PAY H to give me a massage? Oh wait, I know how he'll want payment....back to "being in the moment..."
Good luck this month O, it's going to be interesting at least. Remember about the birthdays, we mom's LOVE to see our kids playing with their daddy's and thinking what great mates we picked. Honestly, for me it's like emotional foreplay and ranks up there as a very romantic thing. Same goes for building a fort or assembling some complicated toy, and making the kids so happy "b/c daddy made it" for them. It's a good feeling. (You may want to read the instructions though, or the whole experience can change fast into a "WTH are you doing?!! event" which is NOT so fun....)
Somehow, I think you'll be in a better place soon, but do NOT pressure her and if she gives you the cold shoulder at all, BACK off, and if she warms up you can be receptive, but just know that she'll pull away again. It IS a roller coaster so don't freak every time it takes a turn, and don't read a permanent life changing event into each turn. She IS conflicted, and even she knows it.
(( j ))
Last edited by 25yearsmlc; 07/31/0905:15 PM.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
W seems a little more talkative today. She went for her haircut, when she got back I complimented her. She didn't really say anything back. We talked about a bunch of different things. She was telling me about her friend who was recently married. They were having problems getting pregnant, and he is going in for a procedure. W says "isn't he a good husband to go under the knife like that for her?" What goes through Ws head when she says these things?
Me-40 W-41 Together-10 M-8 S-6 S-4 Bomb 5/08 Bomb 10/08 Thought things were better, was wrong. Still living together Wife doesn't think she will ever love me again.
Me-40 W-41 Together-10 M-8 S-6 S-4 Bomb 5/08 Bomb 10/08 Thought things were better, was wrong. Still living together Wife doesn't think she will ever love me again.
Just got back from my birthday dinner. W planned it. Made reservations, invited family. It was nice. W was talkative and in a good mood. I got a bunch of presents including a bottle of MacClellans 12 year old Scotch Whisky from my SIL! But I don't think I am getting the one present from W that I used to look forward to all year . Tomorrow is my actual birthday. I don't think I will be getting the present I really want then, either...
Me-40 W-41 Together-10 M-8 S-6 S-4 Bomb 5/08 Bomb 10/08 Thought things were better, was wrong. Still living together Wife doesn't think she will ever love me again.
Maybe you will get what you NOW wish for, which is hope...
Just a thought. Deal with what is, don't spend time trying to recreate what has fundamentally changed and will never be the same again. You can lose someone close to you to death and yet still, someday be happy and laugh again. Your world/life won't be the same; but it will/can be good again if you cope with what IS, not what was, and cannot be again.
Your m won't be the same again - but it may be happy again. Work with that...there is hope.
And "Happy birthday!" j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Thanx. Believe it or not, I am not fixated and all depressed about not getting my favorite gift this year, and I am grateful for what I do have. Hope. I asked her tonight to dinner on our A Wednsday night. She said no, but her reason was that with 2 kids parties and a large family party, she will be too stressed. She didn't say anything related to our R. At least she isn't avoiding me.
Me-40 W-41 Together-10 M-8 S-6 S-4 Bomb 5/08 Bomb 10/08 Thought things were better, was wrong. Still living together Wife doesn't think she will ever love me again.
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