But, my installs are done, and... they... worked!!!
Funniness... I had on a black cotton jersey short sleeve dress, and slide on black leather sandals (not strappy, Brighton's!). Well, I get to BIG Pharma company, and guess who can't wear sandals into the lab, AND you can't have legs exposed. I didn't even think of it. Second time this summer. They got me some shoes, and one of the ladies had some leggings there that she was going to work out in during the lunch break. So, I had to get re-outfitted to get my job done!
Ha!
Trip, a success.
Just stopped by the cc pool for a beer and light lunch w/the BFF. My brain hurts!
I'm so glad this stuff worked. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
MB. I gotta ask you and the girls here a question.
my daughter has been coming to me with alot of complaints and gripes about my wife. Mom is doing x and y. mom yells at me all day. mom gives me a hard time 1 hour then the next acts all buddy buddy. mom just sits on the couch all day and makes me do all the work she should be doing.
now i figure in the natural course of things a moms and daughters will have their disagreements esp. at this age, but last night d came to me say 'im done, i cant take this anymore, something needs to be done about mom.' i figure that is better than i dont want to talk about it, but jeez.
luckily she had a friend over for a sleep over so i didnt need to talk to much. i have been teling her i understand. mom has somethings she needs to work out for herself. remember water off a ducks back. just take it and dont fight back. and if she slaps you again please call me immediately.
what else can i say to her. i feel like i am minimizing things to her and avoiding any advice and comforting she needs. but i dont know what to tell her. i dont want to bad mouth her mamma to her and definitely aint gonna lay my complaints on her, help if you can. thanks, SM
I don't know anything about your wife, so it's hard to gauge how legit the D14's (?) complaints are...
I can just conclude that if you're here, the W must not be happy, and you're willing to work on things to make it work.
I would call myself a bloodied and bruised, but still surviving Mom of a teenage daughter. In all due respect, THEY ARE A PAIN IN THE REAR!!! ESPECIALLY, to their Mom's, and ESPECIALLY if they are anything LIKE their Mom's! (This is not just experience from my own D, but from being close friends with a lot of her friend's parents, as well.)
If D14 has legit complaints... then I'd do what you said you are trying to do; tell her Mom's going through something right now. I know you don't understand it, and quite frankly, neither do I. I'm doing everything I can to make home a more comfortable and inviting place for her to be. We can't make her get through this any quicker than she will on her own. In the meantime, I think I'd try to think of a way to minimize their time together, and tell D14 that she's going to need to help you by being respectful, getting her "stuff" done timely and correctly, etc...
I guess another idea would be to have her keep a journal of the stuff that's really bothering her about she and her mom's interactions for a week. Then, you can determine the seriousness of it. I think she'd respect you for listening to her, considering her opinion, but not making haste decisions. And, you'll see just how much of this is Mom/Daughter silly stuff, vs. real angst from your W re: her "situation."
With that said, TEEN GIRLS are full of drama, laziness, conceit, and the world revolves around their social schedule. They probably have the least amount of respect for the Mom's, especially if they are close to them. And, the Mom's are usually the one's that dole out most of the punishments, so they are looked at as the evil ones often.
Does that help?
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
The only advice I can give you is to listen. If she is being slapped, you might ask why. Certainly physical stuff isn't too cool. But you might find out she deserved it.
There is so much hurt in this sitch and hard for teenagers to deal with. My S and H are pretty far apart right now and barely talk. But, interfering may just make things work.
The two of them have to find their own way forward. It can be hard, but they have to figure it out.
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
H is having back issues on our mattress. We switched our top King for D18's prior Queen to see if that helps. To some degree it did, but it actually felt better when he laid right on the gap aside the Queen, on the box spring! Odd!
Boating, waverunners, cooking out... Typical weekend. H had one snarky moment, while on the boat, and I completely gave him no attention when he did it. (For a good 10 minutes, too!) Funny, he changed around his tone after that. So, I guess that's not a cheeseless tunnel!
H is doing a Sam's Club run now. He offers to do it for me, since I have the bulk of the responsibility w/the kids, it takes a long time, and the stuff is heavy!
On the weightloss front, WEEKENDS SUCK! I think I need to limit the alcohol intake... not a big drinker, but like to have wine night with the girls, have a few beers on the boat, etc... It's not just empty calories, but I snack too much when I have cocktails!
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
After all, I am almost expert. I DO have a D18 who was raised in Christian schools, at the pool/tennis court/golf course at the country club, w/a lake house to have friends at, and parents who actually made her follow rules. She ended up having to be switched to, yet, a smaller Christian school, her NEW VW convertible pale yellow bug sold, her registration from a major midwest university pulled, and asked to move out earlier than expected... OH, and BTW, did I mention she has a TATTOO hidden just below her bikini line? Niiiiiiice! I am truly an expert!
In all seriousness, we've been through the ringer with this one... She's a free spirit, who could never follow a rule. She never really crossed the line, but definitely rode it. She's now moved to an apartment locally, and will be attending the community college in a few weeks (on her dime!) since her grades slipped (not awful, but not worthy of $25k/year in university tuition). I'd like to think we're on the right path, but I've seen her facebook! UGH! I try to remember that it's nothing really that I didn't do growing up... My parents just didn't know any better, and I guess I was sneakier. And, university tuition was not $25k!
So, I can offer some good opinion, mostly on what NOT to do!
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
