Well I went in to edit my name but nothing happening yet.Anyway I have an appt. with atty. today.I dont want to have to do this but need to just protect myself.
i just texted w saying i apologize for telling her not to talk to me.I also told her to let me know when she is filing and no more pressure from me.She could have a hard time filing with no grounds though.
So I have been reading a lot of sitchs here.A common thread is not to give in to your spouse.That is,in a lot of cases we tend to let our spouses have control over over us in one way or another.We talk about needing the power back.That our spouses aren't attracted to us if they know we still care for them and want the relationship to work.I've read DB in the past and are familiar with 180's, LRT'S etc.A 180 in my case probably wouldn't work at this stage.Neither would LRT because we have children.In my case since my w wants the divorce and I don't by going and filing myself would be something she didn't expect.Hence,I would be showing her that I am not the weaker one.But it could backfire and than she gets what she wants showing her that she ended up getting what she wants anyone.Can anybody give me some more insight into this?
I would not do the work of ending the relationship, I would let her handle that. You are thinking way too much. First off, quiut texting her, it is time to drop the rope. It is never too late to DB, because it is for you. What do you do for fun? Time to start living your own life, she sure as hell has started and it is driving you crazy. Time to drive her crazy, be mysterious, make her think you are having the time of your life and then actually do it!
So, my advice, do not do anything that will expediate the divorce, but act as if the relationship between you two is over, and that you are moving on.
I have just read about MLC and WAS.It pretty much said that once your spouse goes thru emotional divorce,that is the end.How true is that and is there any hope once this happens?
I personally don't really "believe" in MLC. I think nearly all of the sitches are simply infidelity, and if you could bust the affair and MC, you'd have a better chance than waiting around for "years and years" that they say it takes.
Of course, I could be wrong. I'm certainly no mental health professional. But in almost every MLC sitch, the infidelity is either ignored or treated as an insignificant by-product, and I think it should be more central than that.
Puppy, I would love to bust the affair and bust the guys face but I don't know if that would make things better.This seems to be a catch 22.If I let the affair continue my w could be pulled farther away from me.My w is already out of the house.She admitted to the affair after I found out but says its only PA.Considering the stage I'm at right now I cant really do anything to stop this.Yesterday I pretty much told her that I am not doing anything legal in terms of filing and that it doesn't make financial sense for her either.I just told her if she wants to live apart than fine.
