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It doesn't matter. Her mind is made up. She wants to be alone. She feels she wasn't meant to be married. I can't see anything changing. I make her depresses. She is happy without me. She doesn't love me anymore. Period. How can that change? Please tell me it can be done! It can't!

O,

That's tough man. I am praying for you.

I agree with stuck. No answer other than you gotta suck it up, pick yourself up and keep your chin up. Get moving on the detachment. I know, easier said than done. But you HAVE to.

I will of course try, but I can't see this going anywhere but south. I can't believe it's over.

What do I do now?

It's not over. man up like you do at work and get your confidence back. You've given her control of your balls for too long.

That's not to say to get mad, but get the control of your life back.

O,

Do you have an IC? If not, and you can swing it, get one. I never went to C before all this, and I do now.

And, you have to decide whether you are going to give up and move on or keep working on you and see how this thing plays out - yes, even now. There is no right or wrong answer - only what you tell yourself honstly.

And yes, you are going to need your nuts for this. Be strong.

Orich,

It is not over. This is only the beginning stages. It could turn either way. Sandi is right. Through the process a lot of times things change when reality hits.

You really need to read FaithfulH's thread. His W filed to and they managed to reconcile during the D process and she finally had it thrown out. Just because she files DOES NOT mean it is over. How you DB now and conduct yourself will really play key into that.

You would be amazed at how many M's get restored during the D process. Don't take the defeatest attitude. A lot can change through this process. Especially during mediation. That seems to be a changing point for some reason for a lot of people. You cannot give up and quit this quickly. There is still a lot of time left and things that have to happen.

Again, have you gone to rejoiceministries.org yet? You really need to if you haven't. There are testimonies of people reconciling after a D and even after one S remarries. It ain't over til one of you dies depending on your stance and how much faith you have in God.

Don't give up so quickly. You have strength. Sure it takes endurance. But now is when you really have to step up to the plate and give it your all. Pray for strength and restoration. Just because it looks bleak does not mean it is over. And if and when your W comes back, I would not expect her to be the same person she is right now. I would actually expect her to regret her choices and be thankful to come back to a wonderful H. She would not come back being in the same state of mind she is in right now. It would be different and probably a lot like it used to be as far as true love goes, only better.

Please don't quit on her. It is your job to stand in for her right now while this is going on. You are standing for your M and your family. Be strong. Your kids are looking to you right now to be the strong parent. They won't understand any of this. Its up to you to be stable and strong and be the father they can rely on for anything. You are the truth holder right now with the convictions. Keep it.

I will keep checking in on you. Your circumstance are CURRENT circumstances. It does not mean they are permanent. A lot of things are said at this point that aren't true and that don't always hold up with time.

Kevin

Thanks. I know I shouldn't give up, but it seems so hopeless. I don't want to give up, but at the same time, I want desperately to be happy.

Pray for endurance.

Kevin

Which is why you have to work on detaching. It doesn't mean giving up. It means getting yourself to a place where you know that no matter what happens, you will be ok. You will. Have you read this article yet:

Developing Detachment

Its the fear of the worst case scenario you have to confront and overcome. You CAN do this.