Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Mulesqb - Surviving Deposition Day

Dude,

I grew up in Boston... I HATE the Bears... But, you can probably guess where my allegiances lie... How the heck DID he catch that ball????

-AlexEN

KJ!!!! how are you?? Wow - it's been so long. I hope all is well with you. I really need to catch up on your thread. I haven't been around as much. Was too busy partying in the alt uni when I had computer time. But really felt a need to come back and read, try to help and pay it forward.

Thank you so much for the kind words. I mean that. During one of my STBX last visits with the kids, she told them that I was "coward and an effin pu$$y a$$" for not leaving. And that real men give the kids to their exes when they get divorced. I am not making that up. I got the court to warn her that the next time she uses profanities to try and denigrate me to the children , that she will require supervised visits. She thinks a real man is like the one next door - who preys on married women and break up families, and do drugs and steal things and try to intimidate people.

Thank you for your post - you are so right about why we hurt. I am proud to know you as well.

Mules

He had it all the way!!! Do you know that was the last great night of my M. We had a big party at my house and two days later I got the ILYBINILWY speech. What should be a great memory for me, really is just a sad reminder.

That's ok - new woman is a Yankee fan, I'm Mets and whoever is playing the Yanks - it's all good!

Have you considered giving her those letters? Keep copies for yourself but give her words back to her?

Believe there's a song about that...But Honestly by the Foo Fighters.

Yes I thought about it. If we were talking at all I would probably consider it. But we are on the Dark planet right now. It would really come out of nowhere. How do I even approach that subject? S15 wanted to give them to her last night and I said no.

What do you think her reaction would be?? I think she would say that that person died a long time ago and things change. That was part of her script.

Food for thought though.

Hey, that does fix it, I'm whoever plays the Yanks, too...

I think that's what she would say if you gave them to her...

Now, if she were to find them on her own...

Wouldn't know where to leave them. Does she just find them?? Or does it look like I left them out and was reading them?? Anyone think that matters.

You know how hard those words hit you? What makes you think they wouldn't hit her just as hard? Her initial reaction would probably be ugly b/c those words - her words - attack her current position. I know you see a different woman today than you married but I've told you this before - the woman you married is still in her own heart somewhere. Think about it - no matter how old YOU get, no matter how much your life and situations have changed, can't you still conjure up memories and feelings from your childhood? Little hurts, loves, experiences...no matter how far away we get from them, hearts remember. STBXW fell in love with you, had sons with you, built, worked, lived beside you. Whatever she is up to or down with now, those two decades are still harbored in her being. WAWs are not completely without a soul - you know that.

I wouldn't bet against her lashing out or saying something really snotty about getting the letters...at first. But I would also bet my next little educator's paycheck that she reads them and loses balance.