I don't know. Maybe you should run this by your L first. Though I do agree that he needs to have all of that updated for the courts so that they have a realistic financial picture of his life. And a year ago you weren't having to pay rent. I would say things have flipped quite a bit.
hang in there. kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
If his Credit cards contact you, you can tell them to stop calling and they have to. I know a guy who stopped paying his altogether, he is convinced that since its unsecured debt, there is nothing that they can do, but Ive seen them sue before, so Ill be interested to see how it goes for him!
I think that I would talk to your L too, just to make sure that you arent going to compromise your situation at all by sending it. Will your H not voluntarily help you pay for it? Can you just give him the bill? Hasnt he, in the past, been pretty vocal about wanting your D to contiue her therapies?
I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
I think that I would talk to your L too, just to make sure that you arent going to compromise your situation at all by sending it. Will your H not voluntarily help you pay for it? Can you just give him the bill? Hasnt he, in the past, been pretty vocal about wanting your D to contiue her therapies?
I plan to cc her, but I had already told her this would be happening. It's not a matter of slashing expenses, there's nothing more to slash. It's a choice of food for us and rent vs. therapies.
My L already emailed his L (who I am sure talked to him and sent the email to H) and said he can't afford to help out b/c of the child support/alimony he is paying. I'm not going to beg him for the $$. I am working on trying to get another job and that would help also. I think at time of divorce, he will have to pay at least 1/2 the copays from everyone I've talked to. Yes, he wants the kids to have therapies if I pay for them. But I can't anymore.
Hey Karen, not sure how Florida works but he should have to should 1/2 of any of the expenses related to the kids' medical issues. I would also push for a more recent financial statement because things have changed significantly for you both since the last one was done.
The court needs to be able to view a more realistic financial picture and I'm sure he is reluctant to do so since it essentially doesn't benefit him to do so.
Hang in there.
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
I just got an email from my L that she did another Request for Production to update his financials. I do think that he will wind up paying at least half of the medical and therapy copays, and I have paid the entire thing for the last 7 months. If I had extra money and I wasn't paying for the therapies I think that would be bad, but right now I'm running at being about $900 short each month for bills/expenses. The copays will make up about $500 of that, and then I need to get a job also. My last 2 temp jobs are the only reason I've been able to make it! I have decided since the next custody check is due tomorrow night, to hold off on emailing that email though until after he gives the alimony/child support check tomorrow. He's got a bad temper, although he's always been great about the support checks, but I'd rather not take a chance.
Did some more volunteer work today, and will keep doing this week. They're cleaning/painting one of our local middle schools. They're trying to get the whole community involved, so I was glad to help and get my mind off D stuff. The kids came and helped out too of course.
It sounds like you're getting some good advice re. your H.
On a side note, have you heard of or read the book entitled The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time by Mark Haddon? I listened to it on audio last week. It's a fictional story as told from the perspective of a teenage boy with Asperger's. I found it interesting, even though the author is an atheist who expresses his bias through the young protagonist's thoughts. And the adults often say a number of curse words that are also inappropriate for younger readers. Other than that I found myself interested in the mystery this boy attempts to solve and the way his AS comes to play as a key component for how he approaches things.
That sounds good. I think I had heard about that before, but hadn't gotten around to it.
Ok, weird night. I took the kids to the autism meeting tonight, teens and young adults, all autism spectrum. I tell H all the itinerary of the kids, so then he emailed me he was going to come. And he did. Awkward. He was sitting down with of course 2 seats saved for the kids. I had a a choice of sitting 20 feet away 3 tables down away from the kids, or across from them. I sat across.
At the start, I found myself smiling a couple times at H when people were telling jokes or said something funny. Old habit I guess. It was funny b/c right away they started us doing introductions and started with H. He said something about well we're homeschooling, but we're working on changing that or something like that with a snotty tone in his voice. Funny b/c every other parent there (like a dozen) were either homeschoolers or had homeschooled part of the years (like middle school or elementary or both). The one mom said that's so great that you homeschool b/c you've been able to avoid the kids that are really cruel and have hurt their son, verbally and physically.
One of the questions he asked was about what autism spectrum and Aspergers is? The lady at the autism center nicely gave him a photocopy about it, and I told her the kids were diagnosed with PDD-NOS. I don't think Mike even knows that....
So awkward but interesting. I'm hoping it might help him if he got involved and got to know about autism and all that, he'd be less of a pita to deal with. But part of me thinks that since obviously they are not very partial to his case, he may just never come back. But I thought it was a great experience. S15 got to go off and hang out with maybe 10 or so other young AS teens, so very cool.
He's a really smart L actually. He just never had any interest in the homeschooling or finding out about autism. Until this week anyway. I'm not sure if b/c he's a little self-absorbed or maybe denial that our kids have problems (he mostly has blamed me I think when he compares them to other kids that aren't autistic). He brought up how we've never discussed autism, it was like the elephant in the room or something. But they are really sweet, wonderful good, loving kids, and I think that's the important thing.
The kids came and helped out too of course. 