Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy I've come full circle #26

Thing is I always thought she was so nice. I should have known things were a little off when I went to all of these funerals for her relatives...people I barely knew, never met and when I lost my beloved grandmother she asked if I needed her to be there because she wanted to visit her sister. Mean of me I know, but I have never forgiven her. My grandmother even went to her MIL's funeral and she barely knew her. Though I know she went for me too.

Like I said good riddance. She would rather stand by her lying and cheating son then say how she really felt and let him have it. spineless.

kat

She does kind of sound like your H, Kat. My theory is you look at the parents and the kids tend to be a lot like them. Eerily so sometimes. I would just feel a bit sorry for her. I'm guessing she's not a very happy person. Living life out of fear isn't a good way to do it (and I say that b/c that's how I used to be.) And now your grandma's throw will be totally appreciated. Maybe an heirloom to hand down to your kids??? Hope you're having a great day! Karen

Maybe that is where he got it from since they aren't blood related it is the environment. She won't come out and say things and neither does he. Just a chicken sort of way to live. I am going to go clothes shopping with the boys. They both refused to go with ex even with skank gone but I am sure he won't be able to figure out what that means!!

kat

Kat, how's your weekend going? D9 wants to go to the track so guess we'll do that. Loves to run like her dad! I'm more of a walker myself! Karen

Another dumb e-mail received from ex. He spoke with his former attorney and he told him you are interpreting the guidelines correctly. They belong together those two azzes!!!

Then he is going out of his way to get a birthday present for me from the girls. WTH????? My head feels as if it will explode trying to understand this idiot just enough so that he can see that he is an idiot. Oh and he is caving on S13 not wanting to come but he won't give an inch on the girls. Feels as if he is out to punish me or something or them even because they aren't older.

This weekend my mind wandered a bit since we are coming up on being divorced for a year. I have got to get a better lock on that memory box of mine!! It isn't my questioning where I am at but more like where did it go wrong. Doesn't really matter except to learn from it because I can't change it.

I know I mentioned this on another thread and maybe even here, but I can't help thinking of the lady I helped several years ago while I worked at the bank. She came in devastated and crying. Her H wanted a divorce and he was cheating. I ran into her a couple of weeks ago and I remember her name and how I knew her. she knew I looked familiar and finally placed me. Oh yes, she said, I was a mess. Didn't have a clue what I was doing. It took a couple of years but I forgave him and her and then love came into my life. I have been remarried for 5 years and I never knew how good a marriage could be. Love will find you too.

I believe that but I am not anywhere near forgiving so I guess it is going to take a while, huh?

kat

Thinking about the whys is not bad. Dwelling on it is, and it doesn't seem like you are doing that. Time is everything. Things will fall into place. YOu just wait and see!

I've met so many people in the past year that were in our shoes a couple years ago or 10 years ago or whenever, and now are happily remarried. I'm sure we'll be in that group too when we're ready. I wouldn't worry about that.

Are you still NC with your X? I think it's so much better for PMA and all that. I have really found that to be the case!!! Karen

Believe I try to talk to him as little as possible. He is just stupid about stuff and talks to me as if I should care about what is going on in his life. No thanks, you left, I don't want to know. Too bad you gave up your best friend when you decided to divorce her!!

kat

Those are the consequences he will now face because of his decision. And, you are a smart lady to keep him at a distance now. You need to do this so you can continue to grow.

Thanks, I don't always feel so smart, but I know if I just step back for a bit the answer will come and it won't be the emotion talking.

With my B discharged my parents have said they will cosign a loan for me to replace my 17 year old car. I spoke someone I know at a local bank and she said even with a co-signer they wouldn't help me for 1-2 years. The car dealers may be different. Not something I necessarily wanted to discuss yesterday, since it was my Dad's birthday, but I did talk about it with Mom and she said talk to Dad. I did, told him what I had been told and asked him if he would mind being there while I tried to work it out. He said no problem.

Then as we were leaving, he said you know if it comes to worse case scenario, your Mom and I will take out the loan in our name and we will have you on the title and you just make the payments. I was so overwhelmed, I almost cried. Gosh, I love them so much. It must be mutual!!