My wonderful wife SMS's this morning saying thank you for the money. First thing she did was go pay bills and buy food. She is FAR more practical than I remember her being just a few short weeks ago. She really is a gem of the highest order.
W had a shock when one account had to be paid for last month as well - and had the slip to prove it if I needed it. She said she didn't have money left for toiletries. I feel for her so much (no sarcasm!!!!!!)
She's still asking for some sort of fixed arrangement which I'm happy to deal with. She's trying her very hardest to sort out her budget - something that I always used to do. I told her I was expecting her last night to finalize the financial problems. W said that she would make a time and a date after I had told her she didn't need to make an appointment.
I'd REALLY like her not to have that sort of pressure on her. If it's the only thing she will allow me to do then great!
She went on in the next SMS that I used to buy the toiletries for her and she couldn't do without. W also mentioned that she can't work on "maybes". - Maybe next month you have more money. W said again that we need to work out a fixed payment and that she cannot expect other people to look after her. AGREED!
I withdrew the cash and decided to drive down and give it to her. Nobody home.
Drove back and parked up. Picked up cell and called her. We had a long 5 minute chat - very normal and quite pleasant!!!! I asked how she was doing, she asked me how I was. W was still in Melkboss I think. I STILL think she's found a job but can't prove it. Every time I call her I hear shopping trollies and cash registers!
W wanted me to drop off the cash at the local pub. Said I wasn't happy because things "go missing" behind the bar. W said she would pick it up later. Said fine. More chit chat and rang off.
Decided to make up a care kit. As well as the money, a cell phone top up (with note saying it would be nice if she felt she could use some of it to call me), an old remote with HUSBAND REMOTE written on it - one button labeled "KEEP QUIET" and another "LISTEN". I think she'll appreciate that. An opened jar of Marmite spread with a note "if you want the rest it's on the cheese and biscuits in our fridge from last night". A Kinder Egg - she loves collecting the toys. And a few other bits and bobs. Hope she enjoys going through the bits. She always liked surprises.
Later (about 1:00) I get another SMS asking why I hadn't left the money. Why? Because Janet was there and had been asked to pick it up. I called W and said I didn't realize someone would have been there to pick it up so soon and I would make a plan. I expressed my concerns about going to the pub and seeing Janet - she was no fan of mine! W reasured me that "friend" was okay and had told her that this was between W & I. I really didn't believe that.
So I girded my loins and went off to the pub. "Friend" was there - gave me BIG BEAMING SMILE as I walked in. I asked if she was okay, bought us both a beer and went on to a TWO HOUR CONVERSATION with her!!!!!!! She dumped all HER woes from work on me and I found myself applying DB techniques on how she should handle the boss from hell!!!!! Unbelievable. I knew I could do with practicing but not with "friend"!!! I get the feeling now that it really IS between me and my beautiful wife.
W will be a bit miffed that her care package was delayed in arriving but boy was it worth it!
And W said two more things - she wasn't at the pub because she didn't have money to sit and drink AND she would drop a copy of her CV for me later. LOTS of thank you's.
Oh - I spent yesterday and this morning paring away my accounts. One of the Internet got dropped. Sat TV trimmed down. Few other things that we can well do without.
Made sure I told "friend" about all this lot - she CAN see a difference in me - just hope she passes it on.
I actually had a GREAT time with friend (note dropping of "")!!!! She even asked about our goldfish (W's called Fin may not make it)!!
This is the woman who unloaded a torrent of abuse in my direction a few weeks ago! I have a very strong feeling that friend did help W last time, IS helping W this time and HAD no time for me because of what W told her.
I asked our bestest and oldest friend who was our bridesmaid if she thought I was a control freak or any of the other things I'd been called.
Answer - no not at all.
I know you're going to say what's outside the house and what's inside the house can be two totally different realities and that I must deal with my wife's perceptions.
I'm going to do that to the highest degree possible every day and in every way. SHMG.
I have had the most amazing Saturday! Good food, good company and good news - news was TOTALLY unexpected.
Just had the most superb breakfast (At 4:00pm). Lots went on before that.
10:30 one of the brothers-in-law rocked up with his driver Philip. We all had LONG chats and LONG whiskey and cokes. Everyone has seen he difference in me. So I can hide it - but not HIDE it
We had long chats and guerilla DB'ing came into it. I had so many positive signs during the course of the day it's actually frightening!
A little later our go-between with better half shows up. We spend the rest of the afternoon trying to light the fire, cook breakfast, and drink at the same time. Better half tells me something that I did not know and he swore me to secrecy (which I just HAD to share with you guys). My wonderful wife HAS got a job with a mutual friend. I'm so PROUD of my wife. Thats why I feel there has been such a change in our correspondence over the past week. She must be feeling on top of the world!
Pie (go-between's better half) tells me that in his opinion my wonderful wife IS working things out and he'd be surprised if we would last another week without getting back together. They have been talking over the past week together. Oh happy day!
I sent an SMS this morning to W, the reply which put me on a downer - "Sad day. Your fish Fin passed away today. Jaco (brother) , Philip and me are having a wake. Good news is that I'm not dead just waiting ;-) Hugs."
And back - "Sorry about the fish. Nothing last forever"
And back - "Oh yes it does :-) depends on what it is. Hugs and small x"
And then the visits with lots of unexpected feedback! I feel on top of the world!
This is after go-between went to the shops and bumped into Wife and her friend and told her what was happening - breakfast etc. Getting on with my life. Which would be so much better if my wife was with me!
Ahhhhh - life is good. All things come to them that waits.
Hugs one and all - now going to lie down - happy day!
right back at you.