Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Going straight forward...antlers 5th thread.

I'm doin' good!

I like the approach you took. Validates W's thoughts and shows you're willing to apologize when you need to. Nice job.

Glad to hear it.

Thanks! I feel pretty good about too!

You doin' OK?

I'm doing well! Just got back from Texas where it was HOT! Nice to be back in CO.

I like how you respond to the various suggestions for your emails/text replies... it shows flexibility, reflection and confidence. All qualities your W will hopefully respond to someday. For now it's for you, and you're becoming a guy she'd be a fool to leave!

Thanks so much for the positive affirmation. Sounds like you're doin' OK right now. I'm glad. Flexibility, reflection, and confidence...those are things that I NEVER had before...nice to know that others are seeing it in me now. Good bunch of folks here...even though we are all hurting, nearly, people are still willing to help each outer out!

Took my son to his first kickball game last night (the kids were with me), and my wife came too, after she got off work. I stayed where I was after she got there, and after a few minutes...she came up to me and started talking to me. It was the first time we have talked face-to-face in months. Nothing special, mostly logistical stuff about the kids and some minor chit-chat. I cheered for my son, as did she. After the game, I said I was gonna go ahead and leave to go turn on the AC and get the car cooled down, and I left. She asked if she could take daughter to eat as I was leaving and I said it was fine. I waited in my car, running the AC, while my son told her bye. He came on pretty quick and he and I left. Wife did have some fresh jalapenos and cherry tomato's that someone gave her at work, and offered to give me some while we were at the game. I took em'...I'm a pepper belly! Anyway, I thought it went OK, being that it was the 1st time in month's that we've even talked face-to-face. Even just recently, when she brought the kiddos over right before we left for vacation, she was pretty harsh and cold. She was nothing like that last night. She's taking the kids on vacation for a week pretty soon, and they leave Friday morning. She's gonna leave her cat with me while they're gone. I'll probably text her after they leave...something like 'be safe, and have a good time'. Remember the texts she sent me when we left to go on vacation, and while we were on vacation? Pretty ugly and hurtful. I guess it'd be too much to tell her that she looked 'smokin' hot', which she did, when I send that text? I felt OK about our interaction at the kickball game.

I took the kids back over to her house last night and the kids started hauling stuff into her house, and she came out...that's something that she hasn't done since this separation began. She brought me some jalapenos and cherry tomato's and said she'd bring some more if she gets some. She said to let her know how hot the peppers were. We talked a little, mostly about the kids and them leaving to go on vacation Friday morning. I told the kids 'bye' and started to leave, then she headed back to her porch. She did tell me 'bye' and I responded accordingly. My 11 y/o son came back out to tell me 'bye' again, and he commented on how nice his mom was to me...I just smiled at him and hugged him again, and drove off. No harshness or coldness on her part...as has been the case for a while.

They left to go on vacation this morning. I sent the following text...

"Sounds like you have a nice trip planned for you and the kids. Please be safe. And ya'll have a great time!"

Antlers-

There you go. That was the sea change in her I've been expecting. You're doing awesome. She offered you food, that's great! In particular, she offered you something she knows you like. That's affection.



You're text was great, and yes, that would have been too much!

Keep doing what you're doing. Don't let this change in her knock you off your path.