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i know we almost did it last year, i am entitled to spousal support and child support, even while married, he is required by law to provide his wife and family with money. its a motion filed at family court.

i will know more tomorrow.

my investigator friend called one place that he might have had a job at, he isnt employed there on or off the books.

i just missed his phone call, he can call again, im not returning it. i dont even want to talk to him anymore. does me no good.

oh u have no idea! he calls, i hear her in the background. i said, call us back without your background noise. he called a few more times, i told him son was in the bath.

then he calls again, yelling at me to stop calling and hanging up on whoever it is that im calling (see, he cant even admit to her, he says "whoever it is you are calling").

i went wild, i said it was not me, she is spoofing my number and if u dont believe me, f her and f you. and i hung up.

i called the phone company, they are mailing me my cell phone records.

then psycho sent me a text. it looked like a paragraph, i didnt read it.. i know i know, i shouldnt delete it, but i just dont want to read it.

i bet it said, stop calling me leave me alone.

he kept calling me, i answered once, said, im on with the phone company retrieving my phone records. and i hung up.

he called several more times,i didnt answer.

maybe i will get him on harassment too. lol....

i must have grown up since i do not respond, do not call her or even try to make him believe me.

i am just so annoyed.

and this psycho girl? she so knows i have done nothing.

mdoodles...cant you just save them on your phone? You dont have to read them. Which I think with a court order you can get copies of all texts sent to your phone.

She is a psycho, thats for sure. What does he see in her anyway?

Please, bring this last incident up with the lawyer tomorrow. It sounds like they might be trying to frame you for harrasment.

I hope this experience with the psycho girl does not cause you to have any prejudice against Polish people. I can only speak for myself, I am Polish, but not a psycho. I cant speak on Trapt's behalf though

my grandfather was born in poland, so i guess that makes me polish too, huh....

im not prejudice but i have to tell u, whenever i see a girl that appears foreign and has the accent, i get very angry...i know these random people have nothing to do with the situation, but its how i feel.

she is here on a visa, she should be respectful in this country, not marching around as if she can harass the wife. not acceptable.

i will absolutely bring this up tomorrow. im considering a police report, perhaps that is best, rather than going to court and incurring the fees on this.

You are much closer to "mother Poland" than I am. My Polish grandfather was born here.

I personally think she should be deported. What gets me is why does she have to use a married guy to get a permanent visa - she truely is stupid. She should go inquire with the Russian-Polish mafia in Greenpoint Brooklyn about obtaining a green card.

funny u say greenpoint, that is where h worked and met her!

i wake up not knowing what the day will bring.

it bothers me, and it shouldnt, that h could even think for one minute that its me doing all of this. i mean, lets get real, why would i call and hang up repeatedly, and show my number!!!??

in a way i hope this girl keeps acting out, will giving me more of a case and he will truly see her for what she is.

i think on some level he knows what she is, he has told me in the past that i dont know what he is dealing with and that she is crazy and cant be spoken to like a normal person.

well that is his problem. not mine. and he shouldnt be with her if he can say those kind of things...

my cousin, a divorce attorney told me to tell him next time he reacts to me - he brought this trash into our lives. she is his problem, not mine. i am too busy raising a child on my own to deal with it.

Hi Mdoodles,

I just caught up on your thread.

I think now that H is turning the table on you about the calls and accusing you of making the calls when it is in fact him, you need to protect yourself further. IMO your H is doing what mine has done numerous times. BLAME YOU FOR ALL HIS PROBLEMS. OW has him convinced (and trust me they believe her above everyone else - MLC Fog) that you are his biggest problem, she is filling his head with all kinds of gobbley gook lies. She is desperate. She will pull out all the stops to turn H against you. I know this first hand.

At this point in time, where calls are concerned, you need to let all calls/texts from H and OW go to voice mail and answering machines. Do not delete anything. Unless H is inquiring about your son, do not return the call. If you would like, text H and tell him I will not entertain another conversation with you unless it regards son.

Consult your lawyer on this.....I would see if H can only see son on a supervised visit basis at this point. It is not without warrant at this point with the way H and his OW are treating you. Perhaps your MIL could be the supervisor and H can see son next door and not in your home for a while. I do not think it would be wise for H to have access to the inside of your home at this time. I have a funny feeling about him right now. OW is way too psycho and he is buying into the drama and her insecurites and accusations.

Let your lawyer advise you on the delinquent bills. Take all the past due bills to the lawyer with you today including the latest mortgage statement. Show your lawyer exactly what you are facing.

This is all about protecting you and son. Leave your H to manage is own problems. You should only call H back if he wants to discuss son. If while talking H tries to engage you in another topic, you should simply say, "I am sorry H I can't discuss(____________) with with you. If you are finished talking about son, have a nice day, good bye."

I firmly believe that H needs to be left completely alone to sort this out. By removing yourself from the drama, H will not be able to blame you. You will not be a part of the problem. It will take time, he will eventually see it. He will trust me. This is how it happened here. I went a step further and didn't contact H about son either. As far as it was for H, their was no wife, son, family, home. I erased him from our daily lives. It has not been the wrong answer. My H and I had a 4 hour face to face this week and I learned a lot. I will share it on my thread as soon as I process it all in my mind.

Mdoodles, please take care and leave H alone to navigate through the fog all by himself. Go to the extreme if you have to. Don't be afraid. Create an mdoodles H will admire and respect. The only way to achieve this is to completely detach. Mdoodles you will need to take everything on all by yourself and it will take time. I did this and I have no regrets. Call it EXTREME DETACHING.

Good luck with the attorney today....jot down the topics you need to discuss so nothing is forgotten today and bring all the bills and any other pertinent documents like the information about the apartment you would like to lease. Make this a profitable visit for you. Who is watching son today?

I will be thinking about you today.....(((((HUGS))))),

Sanderika

thanks sanderika, i was waiting to hear your opinion!
my son will be in camp today... i have my 2 folders of information to go over with the attorney and i have every intention of going to the police precinct so long as my attorney does not object.

i do not want to talk h right now. i realize that is what psycho wants, but i am not doing it because of her. he has led us to this point.

and, i think once he sees what she is up to, once he sees he is losing me too, he perhaps will realize and pursue me.

what she wants with him, i dont know. he is unemployed, has a wife and child, $100,000 in credit card debt and a home in foreclosure.

i am starting to become concerned with what else she is capable of, what else she is going to frame me on.