Puppy Dog Tails and Sandi etc are giving some really good advice.
I just wanted to add that when I feel really helpless, I try to channel that energy into an area that I can do something about. I notice in your first thread you said that you felt you had poor communication skills with her. Thats something you can do a lot of work on by yourself and can have quite big results.
Can I suggest you start reading up on this area? It may be that you are ok at communication, but you both have very different styles of communications, so if you can switch onto her style it can help your situation.
I have been trying to work on that one. It just seems that for the most part, we have had very little chance to even talk to each other lately. When we do, we either have an ok convo, or it starts going South, and in that case she just manages to control the talk. If she is not controlling the talk, she gets me so flusterred that I can't say anything, because I just want to lash out.
Thats really good you have been doing work in that area. Right at the moment, she is trying to get control of her life to make her life better, and that will include trying to control the conversations. She will probably not be in a place where she wants to really talk to you for quite a few weeks and thats ok.
Your job is just to try to make the conversation calmer and relaxed between the two of you. This is the validating part people talk about. First, try to talk as least as possible and just listen. And start smiling and make sure your voice is always as polite as if you were speaking to your neigbour!!!
Come up with several lines you feel comfortable with when she pauses, such as "yes, that makes sense" or " I can see why you feel that" A couple of them should work better. If things get heated, how about " I would like to think about this, lets drop this issue for today". And then have a couple of other light topics you can move the conversation to, such as "weather etc" Then you will not feel so flustered when you talk to her.
I would also suggest goggling "effective relationship communication" or similar and reading up as well.
either she started smoking, or lied to me and met with him over the weekend. I am going with the latter. Reciept from smokes at a place where he would have passed to meet her.
