Question for sandi2 or any other former WAW. Yesterday W was actually showing a little affection, then I had 2 leave for the evening, when I got back, she had lost that, and as the night wore on and then again this morning I would ask what was wrong, she was acting funny, she just kept saying that her head was spinning and feeling sick. Is this her fog and world coming apart, or am I reading this wrong? She is not physically sick, but I know extremely stressed and obviously not in her right mind. Any insight would be greatly appreciated, and how it should be handled. Do I use kid gloves on that one or push her to break down?
Question to WAW's out there. When my W continues to text me with small talk randomly, is this just a ploy to keep on the hook? Most of the time I feel bad not responding, so I find myself writing something short to answer, or throw in how great it was today cuz the kids called to tell me how awesome their trip has been. I usually don't respond for at least half an hour or so if I do at all.
Yes, frankly, I think it is a ploy to keep you on a hook as her second choice in case whever she's pusuing doesn't work out. That is why I tell you men not to feel bad about ignoring her calls and emails. Why would you feel bad knowing how the woman is treating you? I wouldn't wait a half out before calling.....I wouldn't call at all unless I needed to talk to the kids. Then I would not talk to her b/c her whole point is to get you trapped in a R talk.....every time, you can count on it. I can't remember the ages of your children, but if they are old enough to call you, then you can get around talking to her. The less commication you have with her right now....the better.
Keep you self respect as a man and do not let her walk on you with anything. Do not allow her to "use" the kids as her method to get to you. You take control by dropping the rope. It is simple logic. You drop the rope and she cannot control your life.
I'm too sleepy to read, so I better sign off.
Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Thanks Sandi, it really is awesome of you to give your input from your side to all of us on here.
Question for any former WAW. Yesterday W was actually showing a little affection, then I had 2 leave for the evening, when I got back, she had lost that, and as the night wore on and then again this morning I would ask what was wrong, she was acting funny, she just kept saying that her head was spinning and feeling sick. Is this her fog and world coming apart, or am I reading this wrong? She is not physically sick, but I know extremely stressed and obviously not in her right mind. Any insight would be greatly appreciated, and how it should be handled. Do I use kid gloves on that one or push her to break down? _________________________
Other WAW's can chime in here to give their POV, but I certainly say to NOT push her. I think that would be a bad move. You never put pressure on a WAW....and especially when she is acting like you describe your W is doing now.
I remember when I would feel physically ill from the stress and "fog" (whatever you want to call it)towards the end of my "crisis". I thought something was happening to me like.....was I having a nervous break down. There were times it felt scary, so if I had had anybody "pushing" me at that time.....it may have pushed me over the edge.
We tell LBH's all the time to back away.....not push. This is critical when she is acting kind of strange. Also, I can remember when I was trying desparately to make up my mind whether to go or stay that I would change within a couple of hours. Every morning I would decide I was going to stay and work on my M, but by the evening time, I had turned the other direction. It was a most horribe experience.
My advice is to back away and "maintain" during this time that she's going through this. If she initiates affection, then you can "receive" it gently and not respond to eagerly. Remember it's like feeding a wild animal out of your hand.
Later, Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
