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Question to WAW's out there. When my W continues to text me with small talk randomly, is this just a ploy to keep on the hook? Most of the time I feel bad not responding, so I find myself writing something short to answer, or throw in how great it was today cuz the kids called to tell me how awesome their trip has been. I usually don't respond for at least half an hour or so if I do at all.

I hate the roller coaster of emotions. How can W be so civil and nice like she was just now and so off the handle last night. I wanna tear my hair out when I'm standing pretending to be gentle and calm.

ShockedOne,

You know what I think you should do - you must do - when you begin to rack your brains with such questions and thoughts?

You must retain faith that you can prevail to greatness in the end, while retaining the discipline to confront the brutal facts of your current reality.

Least that's what I read somewhere

I put it there to help remind me what to do, I haven't learned yet to live it. Still learning to take those baby steps, but I keep finding myself sprinting.

now is when I'm heading home and I dread it. I'm gonna stop and pick up that Time magazine I keep seeing posted about though and hen I am taking off for the evening with a good friend. Haven't had a chance to talk to him yet about sitch, think he will be surprised.

edit:Nevermind, that magazine is not available everywhere yet.

So we are in the car together, with kiddos, W receives text from OM and responds. I know who it is and become visually bothered by it. She tries to explain the innocence of it, I want nothing to do withit and tell her I'm not discussing it with the kids in the car. We get home, she brings it up, says I can't stop her from doing what she wants, I say I know and you can't tell me how I should feel. I put kids to bed and leave for a walk and her pouting on the couch.

SO,

I can't remember, had you previously communicated a boundary to her about "no texting OM in front of the family," or no?

I liked your answer btw!

Puppy

Yes I had, and had been VERY clear about how it made me feel when I set it.

Then it sounds like she's testing you, and you need to enforce your boundary. Otherwise, it's not a "boundary" at all, but rather a "geeIwishyouwouldn't".

I agree. One doesn't have boundaries; one does boundaries.

Would pulling the car over and telling her to stop it or to finish it outside of the car have been an option?