Okay, Fran, thanks for the laugh out loud post of the day.
I KNOW you are probably baffled by that comment, but if you could see me right now, you'd know why:
Hair unwashed, no makeup, wearing one of three pairs of OLD mens flannel PJ bottoms and a ratty t-shirt.
This is basically my indoors garb pretty much every day!!!
I even have a 10 year old favourite t-shirt that is SOO worn out it is full of holes (even one strategically placed on in the front )...I've told CJ if he wants me to get rid of that one, he'll have to rip it off of me.
Hasn't done it yet...but I still wear it at times in hopes!!!
I watch "what not to wear" and often chuckle at what they'd make of my "comfy wardrobe". (I dress quite fashionably when teaching or going out).
Thanks again for the laugh, CJ probably thinks I've lost it here!
This is written in a slightly alcoholic and lazy Sunday afternoon haze.
Today is our wedding anniversary. Wasn't sure 6 months ago if we would be celebrating but we are. We dropped the kiddos off with a friend and then went for a nice lunch. Came back to the house, I had specially spruced up the bedroom and arranged the flowers H gave me this morning and bottle of champagne, so we could pretend we were in a hotel room - LOL. It was great, really nice lazy and loving afternoon. Gave us both a big R boost which I hope will carry over for a little while.
Good R vibes to all of you.
Fran
if we can be sufficient to ourselves, we need fear no entangling webs Erica Jong
WOw fran that sounds just perfect!!!! I do so love to read posts with happy news! COngratulations both for your anniversary and the wonderful way it happened. Hugs nightshade
"Each and every one of us is deserving of a kind word, a gentle thought and the gift of understanding. "
Yes it was pretty near perfect. However the very next day H didn't want to come out to our usual salsa class he was acting very fed up like he felt he was giving too much by coming to salsa with me. Now he is talking about moving out of town, so he will have a longer commute to work I don't really see his reasoning on this, if he has a longer commute he will be even more grouchy when he comes home, he will see less of the kids and he will still have to put up with the same old $hit of working in the city. which is what is really grinding him down.
Last night H came home v. late as he usually does on Wed when he goes drinking with his diving buddies. It just happened that DD(2) had woken up about 10 mins before he came home (just as I was dropping off to sleep myself) and I had this feeling that he was going to come in and make a noise that would wake her. Sure enough 10 mins later home he comes, clattering about the place, so as he walks in the bedroom I was shushing him. Well he just turned on his heel walked back out again, started banging around in the kitchen; next thing he is back out the front door. WTF!
I phoned his mobile and he answered, I apologised for shushing him. It turns out he had a $hit day and even a $hit evening at the dive club so me shushing him was the last straw. After he had ranted for a bit he started to apologise and say he shouldn't take it out on me.
Anyway this is just a bit of a vent really, not sure what I am trying to say here. Just that the glow wore off pretty quick and that you can never give up DBing even when you are half asleep and your drunken husband comes clattering through the door - LOL
Fran
if we can be sufficient to ourselves, we need fear no entangling webs Erica Jong
Today I looked at my wedding ring and thought "I should take that off". Not for the reasons you think but because it suddenly seemed like a symbol of taking H for granted. When H came back he promised he would not leave again. Yet only a few nights ago he stormed out the house slamming the door behind him. this is something he has often done in the past, but when he left for real he said to me "couldn't you tell something was wrong I nearly walked out 5 or 6 times in the last year?"
I feel like we really shouldn't be taking each other for granted, that his promise not to leave again was genuinely meant but that in some ways it has had the wrong effect. When he was away I DB'd my ass off to get him back. Then we had the honeymoon effect for about a month and these last few months have seemed a little to much like the old normality. Not the uncomfortable normality that led up to his walking out but the old normality which must be what got us here in the first place.
I want to do something radical like taking the ring off to shake us up again, to wake us back up from the sleep we are in so we are positively DBing all the time, not just thinking it's OK now and slipping back to slouching around in our relationship.
Fran
if we can be sufficient to ourselves, we need fear no entangling webs Erica Jong
What message would you be sending H if you took your ring off? How would H respond to it?
I am not sure what taking your ring off would do other than, show your H that you are not commited to the marriage. I am projecting what taking a wedding ring off means to me.
BTW, thanks for your response. Natural consequences, absolutely!!!
)...I've told CJ if he wants me to get rid of that one, he'll have to rip it off of me.
I don't really see his reasoning on this, if he has a longer commute he will be even more grouchy when he comes home, he will see less of the kids and he will still have to put up with the same old $hit of working in the city. which is what is really grinding him down.