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That's rough. Sorry to hear. Maybe you weren't quite ready to go to an anniversary bash yet. Something similar happened to me at church when a couple went up to celebrate their anniversary of 22 years. I felt like crying. Anyhow, it is a new week full of good possibilities, so smile! Expect good things.

That's rough. Sorry to hear. Maybe you weren't quite ready to go to an anniversary bash yet. Something similar happened to me at church when a couple went up to celebrate their anniversary of 22 years. I felt like crying. Anyhow, it is a new week full of good possibilities, so smile! Expect good things.

I hope this week is better.

Exh just sent a text asking why I won't let him close and why I am so standoff-ish.

Amazing.

Maybe you should ask him to look in the mirror and ask that question? It's his stuff - nothing you can respond to. You are nothing like that.

I engaged...for just a bit then stopped myself. He keeps saying at the end of his texts "I love you guys". I know he is doing it to get to me, but there are times it really gets to me...especially when I am down or lonely. I ended up firing back a comment about how if he loved us he wouldn't have hurt us. Then he said something about me not wanting a guy like him and (**) is a much better choice, but he will always love me. I got irritated again as I feel that is the bait and then pull away thing. I told him he is "35 f**ing years old, he has 3 children to be an example to, yet he still is bs'ing and playing people. WTF is wrong with you (him)? I want love and I want commitment and he can't/won't give that. Its all bs."

I never heard from him again. I need to get to the strong place again. I was rather down yesterday after the bust party the day before.

Today is a new day.

I forgot to add that yesterday he asked me "if I wanted some num num". OMG he has had ulimited sexual partners and has walked all over me. I just completely ignored the question.

Wow, what a day! I think you told him just what he needed to hear - the truth. But I also think you said it to remind yourself of the truth.

About the other... A's have no shame until they get sober.

BTW, the new guy on my thread - volleydog, is two years into his recovery and is having a hard time getting his w to trust him. He seems like a good man and I find it helpful to see the other side.

Maybe I did tell it to myself as well. Its the truth.

I think exh may be trying to change his substance of choice again. Pills are harder to prove as there is no smell or things to hide. When I first met exh he was addicted to Rx pills. Anything he could get his hands on. Some days he would take just a few to get through the work day and nobody would be the wiser and then weekends he would take alot to sleep all day long. He ended up with the same lethargic, stumbling ways he is when drinking. Then he knew he needed to stop the pills so he drank more. Now he may be reverting back.

I just thought of something today. When I was snooping at his email exchange last week with the married woman she mentioned she is always in extreme pain due to many surgeries she has had. Pain most likely means constant pain meds. I am sure exh saw that and felt he hit the lottery. He was always asking unsuspecting people for meds. He told her he was having a bad back problem in a few emails. Strange as the same day he was running here to see baby. You don't run when you have a bad back. So I am sure he is hitting her up for pills. Harder for me to detect pills though.

So today he sent a text saying he wouldn't be down today as he had a backache. I said sorry to hear that..take care. He asked me if I had any pain meds! Me!? The one who gave him crap for so long about the pills before. I told him no.

I picture him like a snake...slithering around trying to catch people off guard.

I saw your note on Kassie's thread...

PLEASE don't take this the wrong way but I have been reading your thread and you exh is an a$$...Until you have verifiable proof that he is clean I wouldn't let him near you or your D. He seems like he is nowhere near a bottom that would make him want/need to get any help. He has too many enablers around him. I think you need to stay as far away from him as you can. Could he change absolutely, but something bigger than the DUI's is going to have to do it, and I'm not sure what that would be...

Wow...thank you! I have been beating my head against the wall for years on this. I KNOW what exh is, and everyone around him seems to think he is doing so well. I really thought the DUI would help and it did get him off the road, but he is just a victim of me in that. I did it out of spite.

I am petrified for baby that unless I can prove he is still unstable she will end up having time alone with him.

Thank you so much for your words.