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I agree with puppy on exposing. What M have you now ? I see nothing to lose and everything to gain by exposing. I don't see it as a vengeful act but as a moral obligation to OW H and a 180 to try.

If OW only removed Hs facebook page, and still contacts your H, then I think she is calling your bluff !

Ash -- How are you doing?

It's like I walked into a minefield when I got home today. H barely looks at me, goes out of his way to not touch me when we pass in the hall. No clue what the He!! is going on. Left without a word 15 minutes ago. Now I hear his car pull in, should be interesting.

S said H no longer says I love you when getting off the phone or when leaving for work. H also wouldn't hug S when he left the house this morning. I seriously don't understand this.

Better go see what I'm in for...

Hey Ash.

I gotta tell you I have NO patience with any behavior that will hurt the kids. Inexcusable and I would not tolerate it.

If your H has a problem with you (which we all know is HIS problem), he needs to take it up with you, outside of sight and sound of your S. He does not, and should not, take it out on your S.

Period. For me, this would be a boundary my spouse simply cannot cross.

Good luck and keep us posted.

Ash, I triple-dog ditto what giving just said. You can (and should) do it.
All I got time for right now, but I'm witcha, kid

I approached H regarding his behavior towards S. He said he "was not aware" that he was doing anything wrong. I told him any problems b/w us should not be taken out on S. Also indicated he was not spending time with S, working all the time. H denied this, said S is with friends and he hasn't worked that much. H then makes some comment to the effect of "oh, I'm such a horrible dad."

I completely feel like screaming at him GROW THE F@*k UP! I am so ticked off tonight. I seriously don't know how anyone handles this and for an extended period of time. H is being such an a**hole tonight. It takes everything inside of me to stay calm and not lash out. Thank God I am getting away for the weekend because I am about at my limit.

Thanks Gardener...I needed that!

Ash, DEEP BREATH.

He's baiting you...again. And he will keep doing it until he finally understands you aren't gonna bite.

I know it's hard. I really do. Your H sounds like he has a lot of growing up to do. But, you have to be the better person here.

Remember from DR - before you take an action or say something, ask yourself, "Is what I'm about to do going to bring me closer to my goal?" You take the bait and argue, and you are not moving toward your goal.

You can do this.

Thanks Giving....and thanks for the reminder. Perhaps I should keep post-it notes stuck to me so I can remind myself of these things! :o)

This baiting crap is getting old. H just walked in here to get something and as he leaves says "oh, yea, just keep talking about me." He definitely has a lot of growing up to do. What I find ironic is H tries to see what I am up to (on computer or phone) and I don't bother trying to see what he's doing.

On a semi-positive note, S came in and said "what were you talking to dad about? was it about me?" I asked why and S indicated H was talking to him more. Another positive sign is H must not have talked to OW in front of S today because I did not get a call today informing me "Dad's on the phone with Alisha again!"

Ash, I don't think your H's interest in what you are doing is necessarily a bad thing. If he wanted to leave, why would he care?

I recall a saying that the opposite of love is not anger, it's indifference.

Just keep doing what you are doing. And you are doing great.