with her suspicious mind she will guess I am just checking up on her. She has told me often enough she does not trust me, and without getting into a tit-for-tat argument I will calmly ask her for the receipts to verify her purchases. If it was the other way around and I never had anything to hide, I would provide the necessary receipts. In fact it would work both ways as she would have backed up her expenditure and validated the bill which would prove to herself and me she is not trying to con me, and for me it is peace of mind that at least we can have a degree of 'trust' in monetary terms at least.
Bomb dropped: 19/12/08 Me:48 WAW:41 D:10 S:6 Married: 15 years
I'm not too bad thank you. Our R has gone from bad to worse I'm afraid and the attacks on me still continue. I believe my W is angry because I am back in the marital home and she has lost a fair degree of control.
I had the children over for dinner last Thursday before my W and children went off to Corfu for a week. She had presented me with a bill on Monday of �940 which I said required receipts to back up the various items for the children and shopping.
When I told her on Thursday I would have to deal with it when she got back, she went mad and came over and took the children away. I had given my children their favourite dinner and we were playing in the garden when she arrived. My son was so upset he vomited on the doorstep and my daughter ran past me and went to my W's car. My W wanted to engage in a row, I told her I was not prepared to discuss this bill in the presence of the children. Unfortunately, she pushed her foot against the front door stopping me from closing it.
Eventually, she vented all her frustrations and left. since she has been away I have received texts from her attacking me again, and asking me for my solicitors name and address.
This woman shocks me, as even though she is on holiday, she still seems to want to cause arguments instead enjoying her time with our children.
What do you think?
Bomb dropped: 19/12/08 Me:48 WAW:41 D:10 S:6 Married: 15 years
I still have that vision too. I have to agree with you about my W, irrespective of our R she has no right to upset the children in this way. I have told her verbally and also in writing, but she continues this arguing with the children present.
I am considering asking my L if there is anything I can do.
Bomb dropped: 19/12/08 Me:48 WAW:41 D:10 S:6 Married: 15 years
Since my last post my decree nisi arrived which I was sad about and I sought solace with my family. To think it was the 19th December 2008 when my W told me she wanted a divorce, and here we are on the 29th June and I am approximately six weeks from it being all over after 15 years.
I am still struggling to come to terms with it all, but I am no longer in denial and I am now focused on trying to get the best financial arrangement for me to re-start my life, and more importantly I have to secure access to my children.
I am not using any DR strategies anymore as I have passed the point of no return as my W has still not shown any remorse, compassion or concern for me, just a passion for securing the best financial package for her and to continue this new single lifestyle she craves.
During our last two meetings since her horrendous outburst involving the children, she has tried to be more light-hearted and friendly. The problem is, I have been abit aggressive in my attitude towards her which is wrong, therefore I must be more business-like and trest her like a friendly neighbour in future, even though this is really hard. She knows I am still in love with her, but because I am having issues trying to secure a legal aid solicitor, she believes I am dragging my feet and not 'moving on'.
She had a week away in Corfu with the children and during this time she texted me approximately 12 times. They mainly concerned her wanting my solicitors details and attacks on me, but also the fact I moved out from my friends house on a Saturday and my friend did not return to his house I was staying in until the following Wednesday. She called me a liar and said I forced her out of the house prematurely. I ignored these texts which then prompted her to say I was un-communitive which was one of our issues.
Why she is still so angry even on holiday is baffling, considering she is getting the divorce she wants I would have thought she would be happy with the way things are going for her. They returned from holiday on Saturday morning and I picked up the children. We had a lovely weekend and I got them to help me in the garden. My son is very clingy and I really feel for him, it makes me so sad to think he is suffering like this but I have to make sure he is happy and I do all I can for both of my children during this very difficult time. My W took the opportunity to go out Saturday night even though she had only returned from holiday a few hours earlier. She obvoiusly needed her OM fix, this is what makes me so angry - selfish, not giving a damn for me or the children.
I an now back in the marital home and my W and children have now moved to my PIL's house. I will remain here until I have received the financial package I require, even though she has asked me to leave in September because of the children starting a new school. As much as I put my children first, I believe my W is using them to get me out of the house, but I will lose all control and why should I anyway seeing as my W has created this current situation.
I have completed my Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and it has been very helful. I have a long, long way to go and I am still hurting so badly and I think I will for years, but I have to take it one day at a time.
I would love to have some advice or views for support please.
Bomb dropped: 19/12/08 Me:48 WAW:41 D:10 S:6 Married: 15 years
