Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Trying to detach from the madness!

Good for you to stay strong. I'm guessing when you offer to switch the days he's going to throw a fit even though based on the past he wasn't going to visit anyway.

As far as the custody thing good thing you posted here you can look back threw your posts and document ALL the missed visits ect.

I have a whole calendar/journal that I write in each day. Calls, texts, visits, no shows, suspected drinking, activities, etc.

I will text him mid morning and offer today.

His moms wedding is this weekend too. I haven't made a decision on that yet. I just don't know what to do. I don't want to go and pretend all is fine and exh and I are best friends. That this is the best scenario ever. I don't want his family thinking that I am in any way agreeing this is for the best. IM NOT!

That wedding thing is tough...I'd lean towards going acting happy but as little interaction with exh as possible...Try to get out as fast as possible. I have no idea what I'd do at all.

just got some nasty texts from him. He is mad because he wanted to drop by and see baby. I said she was asleep and could he come back later? He got pissy and said things will be different when he can drive again. What? Did he want to wake baby up just because it fit HIS schedule? All about him.

Refocus on your D's graduation and let go of exh's tantrum - not important now. You and your d have a special day, without each other, this day would not be possible. It's a chance to feel great and look great. Be a proud mama!

This is a great way to let exh know what is important in life that he is missing by example not word.

I really don't think exh has the capactity to think of anyone but himself. He takes every single chance to flirt endlessly with many women. I really absolutely hate that he is the father of my child. I would have taken anyone else at this point.

He sent me a text yesterday afternoon asking what my schedule is like today? UMMMMM.....its my daughters high school graduation! Seriously, where is his head? He knows that. I said I had a busy day, but what time was he thinking about? He slammed back that he hadn't seen baby in almost a week and he is sick of it! Well, make your visits jerk! I said I had a busy morning but the best time for me was late morning before baby's nap. After that I will be gone. Never heard again until 11 last night telling me to give baby a kiss for him. Like she is up at 11!

His mother, who is staying with him, left me a long winded message last night as well. How at sd's graduation she came to find me by the door and I was gone. That she was disappointed as she wanted to take pictures with baby. She also EXPECTED us there on Saturday for the wedding. I am sure exh is boo-hooing all over the place.

Yesterday was full of stuff! Must be my strange day too VD!

So I was picking my son up from his friends house. Sitting outside and waiting for him, gazing out my window...I see married womans minivan across the street! It was hers as she had the same 2 carseats inside and the same stupid sticker on the back. OMG! I saw what looked like her husbands car in the garage as well. How sick! There was a slide outside, tricycles, a kiddie pool and little kid toys. This woman has really small children. I stared at this house thinking she is playing happy family and sleeping with my exh on the side. It was a very sick feeling. Another innocent family blown to bits.

Well...another major milestone is done. Second daughter graduated from high school yesterday. I had to fight back tears the whole time. I kept looking at her sitting there all proud and happy...ready for her future and thought about how far her and I have come in the past few years. It was rather rocky for a few, but now we are so close.

I saw from a distance exh's first exw and her new family along with exh's daughters. They look so happy. Her new husband has NO idea how much she is still involved in exh's life.

So, today is exh's mothers wedding. I have decided to go for just a little while. Its going to be hard to bite my tongue if anyone starts talking about our sich or how good exh is doing.

Exh was texting alot late last night. Wondering if we were ok, sleep good, etc. Wonder what twisted thoughts are going through his head? Wonder if he has a twang of guilt or sadness as he is the only one that keeps blowing up his family?

I just have to journal this:

Baby and I just got home from the wedding ceremony so she can take a nap before the reception.

It actually was a very beautiful ceremony. MIL looked very happy and the words were so touching. I was standing most of the time at the back of the church crying. Everything touched me. Exh was best man so he was up front the whole time. I just kept staring at him listening to the words in the service and wondered why he couldn't take his vows seriously? Love, fidelity, during bad and good, sticking by eachother, forsaking all others...the list goes on and on. I watched him and I know he kept looking down during those moments.

After the service his sister came and gave me a hug and whispered in my ear and asked how I was. I lost it and the tears started flowing again. She said she understood. I didn't want exh to see me crying but I think he did. Outside he was holding baby and I had my sunglasses on and he pulled me close and asked if I was ok and what was wrong. I just said it was hard. He said I know.

Time to regroup before i take baby to the reception after her nap.

Going today really set me back alot emotionally. Huge. I am back to being depressed about what should have been. Our beautiful child, our other kids, our family.

Do you have to go to the reception. The wedding is the important part the reception is just a party.

I just got back. I am actually really glad I went. Family was nice to me and it was ok.

They asked exh not to drink and he agreed. I was only going to stay an hour or so but I noticed exh's personality changing like it does when he drinks. I wanted to wait around to see what happened.

At first exh was all over baby..trying to be a good dad. Then I noticed he was going to the truck alot and also going to the restroom alot.

He was telling me that I didn't want to work on things and he was the only one trying. He was saying he wants us to try again. I said he needed to quit drinking and be faithful. 2 things I didn't think he could do. He was going on and on even in front of people. I knew he was drinking somewhere secret.

Then he got emotional with some family members and crying. Sure sign that he is drinking. His siblings just rolled their eyes and were frustrated because he promised he wasn't going to drink. They were not serving alcohol at the reception. Then he took off with SIL dad and then her sister followed. They walked a ways away and had this long conversation. After about 15 the dad came back and left exh sitting with the sister. Exh never came back. Dad of the year never even got to say goodbye to his daughter. I had enough of waiting on him and we left. I think the family understood. BIL said he found empty beer cans in the bathroom.

Same old crap new day. It did make me sad though hearing those words even though they were coming out of an intoxicated mouth.

He didn't even bother with his baby for the last hour we were there. He was more interested in talking to sil's sister.
I am glad I went though. Confirms he is still drinking to the point of sneaking it.