Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers another newcomer - thread #2

Got an interesting period coming up. Today WAW and I go on a 5 day vacation... separate trips. This was planned many months ago, before the D stuff happened. I am going to visit my parents with S while WAW hits Mexico with her sister, my sister, and a few others for her sister's Big Birthday. I don't know what, if anything, will happen when the sisters all get together with this topic hanging in the air. Part of me hopes someone talks some sense into the WAW, part of me hope it isn't even brought up.

Last night and this morning almost seemed normal. At one point as we were packing she called me "dear." She also went tanning yesterday in prep for the trip and we joked about her nice tan and her tan lines, which she had to show me! This morning, she gave me a nice huge as she left for her cab.

So the next five days will be great for me as I chill with family and S gets lots of attention. I will be far away from WAW and she will be busy doing fun stuff, and both of us will get a nie break for being togetehr with this stuff hanging over us. I probably won't have anything to post for days, but when we get back we'll see what happens.

WAW has been emailing a lot while away, and thanks to Skype we also talk every day. I'd like to skip a day, but she wants to keep talking. We just are updating each other on respective day's activities, but it is nice to talk. My mother commented that "she sure is chatty with someone she wants to divorce." LOL!

Maybe you need to let her miss you.

Doing my best to do just that, but with S with me feel obligated to not be unavailable.

S should be available.

JKL . . . not so much.

Tomorrow we head back from our respective trips. Will be interesting to see what 6 days apart will do to the dynamic. From my perspective, I had a nice time away and further time for me to reflect on myself and what I want from my life. I feel good about the things I have done in the past 2 months and the new direction I am going. I am pretty sure I have done a good job with DB and I am doing the best thing for myself. We'll see what new challenges come up now, but I feel ready to face them.

I'm having a hard time getting my head on right for how I should act when WAW returns. I get home first; she arrives later. I want to grab her when she walks in the door and hug her huge because I have missed her. Probably not the best DB move. But the whole "act as if" thing confuses me. I guess just be positive, pleasant and ready for anything.

Just keep your expectations in check.....

Lay low and she her reaction first.....

Chances are.....She is still the same person that left.

Just got a call from my sister, who was on the trip with WAW. Said they had a good time, and last night got to talking about this sitch. Seems WAW went through the script of things that got us to this point, but when asked by my sis "is the door total closed" wouldn't say yes or no. WAW talked about how was soul mate, love of life, etc. and that she sees change in me now but doesn't trust it. My sis was pretty good, not saying much and mostly listening, and gently suggesting to keep an open mind. I will put that all in my back pocket and be ready for business as usual.

Well, it was nice to all be back. We talked for an hour or so catching up, including some stuff she brought up on the R. No "progress" per se but it was good talking. We hung out this morning more together with S and it was cool. Going to chill the rest of the week, keeping space and detachment.