Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Feeling Like A Victim Tonight....

Need to post some more or I'll explode tonight... Can't seem to focus on work, so I might as well "get out" my feelings.

Getting such mixed signals from him this week. We were supposed to have a "week of peace" this week and then son and I will be gone all next week on vaca without him. So I have been trying to have NO CONFLICT, to leave him with positive impressions of our interactions. Then our son got sick last night and it sparked a little fight b/c we were both tired, worried about our son. One of his friends sent him a book "Getting Divorced Without Ruining Your Life." I could have screamed! Not what I want him to be reading. What an uplifting book, so positively oriented towards marriage! (Sorry, very sarcastic today.) It has bad karma too b/c it belonged to our friend who was murdered. Great. Just what I needed in my house. I should throw it out.

We literally can't seem to go a day w/o fighting. Not good. I've got my bubble around me though and refuse to get dragged into conflict w/him. I don't like this forced timeline for him to make a decision that will impact the rest of my life. So last night I told him that no matter what he decides, son and I are staying in the house for a year. If he decides that he wants to work on the marriage, fine. I'm not going anywhere. Shouldn't he be the one to move out? He refuses.

Tonight he called me at work and asked if I wanted to talk. Accck. That is never good, right? He keeps asking me how I am doing, if I'm ok (as if I'm out of my mind). I've been very emotional, true, but I'm human! I stay strong and tell him that I'm fine. He just says that he WANTS WHAT IS BEST FOR ALL OF US. Sometimes I think he wants to work on the marriage b/c he knows what is at stake and that we really can't get divorced now anyway. His Mom also told him that I could get up to 55% of his salary in child support, so that MUST have made an impression on him. He didn't even email her back about it, just deleted the email.

He asked if I wanted to go to MC this week. I told him it was up to him...trying not to make him feel pressured and he said that "Yes," he wants to go. Can I have a cocktail with all of these mixed signals??????