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Hes texting again about my fantasy boyfriend! Hes asking me if he was at the grocery store today. He wants to know what he looks like. I have ignored every one of them.

Ok, so last night he was hammering me with the coach texts. I wanted to turn my phone off but was waiting for a call. So, I text him that I had company, baby was great, and I would talk to him later. I even put a at the end. He asks "who is the company? Him?" I never responded. He sent that 3 times.

I keep having this urge to snoop and this is why. On the surface, one would say...maybe he cares. But then from the snooping you find that he is really full of bs. I haven't snooped in almost a week! Having withdrawls.

I think this is hilarious. You are getting to him, he knows now you're not there for him whenever he needs or wants you (not saying you were before).

As for the snooping, you know not to. Just assume he is full of bs until he proves he's not.

Oh, I was....I was quite pathetic. I turned my life upside down for him.

How funny...you're in snoop mode too. So, am I. DONT DO IT. You keep my ass in check and I'll keep yours in check. Come on. Seriously, it's like quitting smoking. We can be each other's sponsor. When we feel like snooping....text each other and let's talk each other out of it.!!!!

WE are hurting OURSELVES by snooping.

Today he had to work late at a place up the street. He said he couldn't make his visit but asked me to bring baby by on my way somewhere. Sucks as anywhere I went I had to drive right past there. So I did. He visited with baby for 5 minutes. He got a facebook and asked if I would be his friend. I just sorta smiled and changed the subject. He asked me 3 times.

I just was texting Blindsided about this...

Tonight he keeps texting asking if I will be his friend on FB. I really don't want him to be as I don't want him seeing who I talk to and who my friends are. I am enjoying fb and connecting with some old friends now and don't want to have to think about everything I write on there being for exh's eyes.

Once again, I am avoiding the texts.

If he brings it up again maybe just say I don't think so right now. I'm sure he'll go off on something about you not wanting to see him to see your talks about your "boyfriend" blah blah blah. Just say ok gotta go...or if it's a text just delete right away with no reply.

I forgot to mention a few new changes coming up. Exh has visitation on Saturday mornings. He hasn't been making them due to his community service. He is now done with that and said he will be over on Saturdays again. I could tell we both had a hard time emotionally on Saturdays. It was a time during our relationship where we just got up and played with baby, hung out, and just relaxed. So when he comes its the same feeling. I know he felt it too as when he was coming he got more emotional. During his weekday visits he is tired from work, stressed about his other kids, getting home etc. I am a bit nervous about him coming again.

His moms wedding is also next weekend. We haven't discussed it further but I haven't decided what to do. If I could bow out gracefully without looking spiteful I would. Just don't know how to do that. I also don't want to go and be completely upset if exh takes off with baby there and/or treats me like crap in front of his family.

SO2 - I think it okay to accomodate him occassionally with regards to seeing the baby. I don't think there is anything wrong with taking her by his work to see him...once in a while. The FB thing, like I told you last night, just say "I don't think it's a good idea, right now" and let it go. The wedding, I told you to do what you want. It's appears that you WANT to go. I think that is okay. You just need to stay calm....if he takes off with the baby...go the other way. That way you don't have to hear ANYTHING he says to his family or see him being the "perfect Daddy" in front of his family. Find someone to talk to or something to do and IGNORE IT! You can do this. I see you. I see how strong you are. Don't be drawn into the drama. Another added plus is that he will probably feel like you trust him to be with his daughter without you hover around. This is a good thing. I think it is on the lines of DB'ing. Letting him feel like he isn't being scrutinized by you. Don't hover. It's a win-win situation.

I ditto what blindsided1 said so eloquently.

You are doing well so far, keep it up. How does it feel? Good to be untangled? I know I felt free when separated from H and his drinking behavior. I don't miss the messages and phone calls which were so many everyday. I don't know if I told that I reached a point where I didn't even listen to the messages and just erased them without listening or reading. It turns out that it didn't matter because he doesn't remember much of what he said or did back then.