Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis no woman no cry

Sweetie, I think you could absolutely look your children in the eyes and say you did all you could. You have done way more than most people would.

Go with your gut regarding dating. If you are apprehensive about it, leave it alone for now.

You are doing wonderfully. You are a great dad. You will have a happy future. I just know it.

Thanks B, sometimes I don't know?

The fun never ends.....

I got another email this morning. She wants to switch days.

Surprise!!

She is wanting to switch the Fourth of July for Halloween. "I have them the 4th and I may be going out of town, plus then I can have them on my Birthday. So it would work out good.(yeah for you dumbass) Blah blah blah. ME ME ME ME!!

She didn't give two sh*ts about me not having the kids on my Birthday, Oh and I almost forgot, She offered to LET me pick my daughter up from daycare on her Birthday so I could see her for a whole 15 minutes!

Then at the end, I get "How's the refi coming on the house?"

I'm sorry but I have way too much going on right now to be worried about the freakin 4th of July and Halloween. As far as the refi on the house goes I have until August, last I checked this is the 1st week of June. So leave me the FCUK alone!!

I hate this....I hate her selfishness...This "thing" is going to push and push and take and take. I'm not switching, she wouldn't let me see my daughter, she doesn't ever work with me. FCUK HER

I pray to God she doesn't call me today.

Why??? Why does she feel the need to keep bugging me.

It's just not worth trying to be nice anymore.

She is a selfish parasite. Nothing more.

With that......I do believe I am DONE.

I have been sitting here debating whether to say anything because I didn't know if you would want me to. I figured WTH did I have to lose.

Maybe the reason she is calling more now is because she knows she has lost control on things. Before you would have done anything in your power to be nice in hopes of her coming home. Now she has lost that power and is trying to figure out a way to keep you in her clutches.

There are others that will fight with you and tell you that you are being stubborn regarding switching the day. You know me, I say whatever I want and don't sugar coat anything. I say you are doing the right thing by not switching. She is playing the controlling game. I think you are doing the right thing by not letting her have the upper hand.

Do you feel bad when you tell her no? If you answer no then don't worry about it. If you answer yes then you need to think about things.

Regarding the dating...there is nothing wrong with going out with someone as friends until you are ready to take it to the next level. Sometimes having a friend of the opposite sex is nice. Just be upfront with them and tell them you are not looking for anything more than friendship.

I can honestly tell you that even after all is said and done that there are still ups and downs. I don't know if you ever really get off the roller coaster.

I hope you find peace and happiness Trapt, you deserve it.

I totally agree that the "stuff" is about control. I agree that you should not let her control you anymore.

I do not think for a second that you should doubt that you did everything you could and are a great dad. She, just like mine, is selfish and trying to use any method possible to maintain power. They know us well, and will try to use whatever method that they think will work. Yours is trying to manipulate through the kids and finances. Mine is trying to use guilt and my conscience.

You need to hang tough and try to ignore the bullsh*t. That's what I'm trying to do.

As far as the dating, I don't see anything wrong with it. As long as you are upfront that you are not ready to be emotionally involved and it's just friendly fun, that's cool. Hey, if it happens to turn into more, then it does. I have turned down a few offers from some very nice, good guys. The only reason is b/c the D is not final yet and I feel that it needs to be. As soon as that ink is dry, I'm free to do whatever I want and will not feel any guilt whatsoever.

Oh, I made the reservation for our pissed offedness getting rid of party on my thread. Make sure you show up!

Thanks T2 and Soco,

As far as dating goes, it crosses my mind every now and then, but right now with work, trying to pay my bills and holding on to my house by a thread, I really don't have room for it.

I am just so sick of being stepped on. It doesn't bother me a bit to say no.

What bothers me is that fact that she will not leave me alone. Twice a f-ing week I hear "hows the refi on the house coming?" I can't even make my mortgage payment right now. Twice a week I get that and I still have two months to get it in the works and as long as it's on going I get an extension. I am just so sick of being hounded about this.

She gives control freak a new meaning. Hey, it's her choice to take off "out of town" for the 4th and dump the kids. If she does that I am taking them. I still however get "let me know ASAP so I can make other arrangements."

She does NOT GET IT. Make other arrangements my azz!! I'm getting the kids.....end of story. It's court ordered.

I refuse to put up with this anymore. She NEVER switches with me. There is always a problem.

I am having a tough enough time getting by day by day with work and all this crap. I can't even think about the 4th right now.

All I have to say to that is whatever she decides to do on the fourth, I hope a stray bottle rocket finds her selfish, controlling, crazy nosy @ss.

Hey, just say no and tell her that you will have the kids if she goes out of town. Don't debate, argue, or get pissed off. Just tell her. You are right, it's court ordered. Nothing she can control there. I'm really sorry you are dealing with all of this crap T.

I tend to agree with the ladies. Don't switch. She has to deal with the reality of the situation. They think that their "freedom" means that they can do whatever they want whenever they want. She needs a little dose of reality.

Hey T, we got your back on at least 3 margaritas, so come on down... I am soooo freaking bored.....