trying to get brownie points by buttering up to the wife,,,,that qualifies for bizzare...and dont trust her for one minute. The stronger you get the more she feels him pull back. we dont know what it means but theres no denying shes up to something. and that is in response to her feeling him slip away.
Me 53 H 51 OW 25 Bomb may 06 left june 8/ 06 ILYBNILWY (twice!) 7/6/07 H wants to come home 7/21/07 H comes home 7/07 -7/08 long haul letting go of OW now piecing in earnest
Well, I found out yesterday that ow cried at the bbq she went to at my friend's house. She feels excluded from people, and feels that they all say she's a husbandsnatcher...gold digger etc...(what a surprise !) One of my friends told her, 'look, it's a fact, you will always be THAT person...you can't change that in people's minds!'
D10 also told me that she thought she had made ow cry...as ow had said something to another little boy about not having to listen to D10 and then D10 said to her 'Why did you say that ? I don't like it when you say that, it's none of your business'
So, I have NO idea what is going on with ow, but maybe guilt is literaly eating her up.
take care xx
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
Cinders, All I can say is "well, well, well...Mother Karma is catching up with the ow." It's not guilt that's got her, but the fact that she's finding out that the fantasy life is starting to crack and the facade that she's so carefully maintained for so long is starting to crack under the scrutiny of family and friends. People are not pussy footing around her any longer and you know what? She needs to hear what people think about her and the situation. Let's face it, she's not a saint by any means.
I now firmly believe that she wanted you to be a part of the "happy couple" in order to convince others that you were okay with the relationship that she has with your husband. It's not that he's incomplete, but her...she needs your blessings and friendship in order to win others over. I do hope that you've maintained your stance on not participating in her little games of deceit.
Let the woman cry...crying is good for the soul....and just maybe, she'll realize what she's done and get the heck out of your h's life so that he can return to his family.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Well, Snodderly, you'd be proud to hear that yes I have stuck to my stance, I have no intention of being part of that 'happy couple' idea she may have. And like you said, I feel no need to ease her guilt or uneasiness about this all.
I have grown a lot since I first came here, for in those days I would have done ANYTHING to just have H by my side. It is no longer the case.
Where there was once an emptyness, there are now friends and family and I feel very complete.
THis is however a hard situation for me, as I have never wished the ow evil or bad, and I feel that she may be struggling and yes her world may be colliding, yet some part of me does not feel very sorry for her ....I hope that does not make me evil ...
Anyway, Tomorrow I'm off to visit my sister who's daughter is in hospital with a rare illness...she's stable now, but we all had a terrible scare !
Take care all of you...love CInders xxx
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
Cinders, Continue to be the person you are and that's all anyone can ask of you. You owe her nothing...being polite and considerate is enough....for your children's sake. Yes, she is struggling and you've no hand in that struggle. It is a struggle that she created and she has to be the one to figure it out, or should I also say your h should be helping her.
Enjoy the visit w/your sister and I hope that your niece is doing much better.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
