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I just got a text from H.

I was surprised when I saw it was him actually. While I do still sometimes find myself thinking 'I haven't talked to H in a week/2 weeks, etc,' I don't check my phone constantly or expect to hear from him anymore. It used to be painful each time another day went by but not so much now. Don't get me wrong it be great to hear from him more, but I just don't think its realistic at this point.

Anyway, he just said hi hope you had a good week just thought I would see how you are

The last 2 emails he sent I didn't respond to as I felt there were no questions or anything important I needed say anything about.

He does keep doing this, I feel he is just 'checking on me' and then if he knows I'm ok he leaves it another week or 2 before he feels the need to 'check' on me again.

So I know not to answer right back but, should I answer at all? Should I use this to show him I AM OK w.o him? which I think may kick us back into that pattern I said about above OR should I just leave him wondering by not answering and see if something different happens?

I bet that text did catch you off guard. As if you had to look twice to make sure it was really from your h!

My two cents... Mix it up. Be unpredictable. You didn't respond to the last two texts. So, respond to this one later today... but don't get into what you've been doing, keep the focus on him. Maybe respond with a 'I'm good - how about u'. Friendly but distant b/c you've got so much going on now that you getting on with life.

I guess the ? is what's your goal...? If it's to get to a point where h does contact you more, and maybe to work on the friendship piece of your r, then you don't want to ignore his contact attempts completely. But it's your call. Just think about your goals - short term, long term - and how best to achieve them.

Hi Hopeful_cb,

I think it is good sign that he is checking on you....but, YOU do have to change the dynamic of your R, bc he won't.

I think its great that you have gotten to a point where you are not expecting a call (I am finally not checking the phone 10 x a day). I agree with mnt_dreams.......change it up.

For me, the key is to stop him from assuming that you are and will be always available to him.

I think you are doing great though! Have a wonderfully productive and happy day!

Thanks guys for the input!

I did have myself a good day. I had 2 goals this morning that I wanted to do today. 1. underwear shopping 2. gym and I managed to do both + more. Treated myself to a nice matching set of underwear and I got lots of running in at the gym. Plus did some food shopping and lots of cleaning...just getting to sit down now and have 2 friends coming over in the next hr to hang out this evening. I actually feel good and I am glad I have been busy!

And not thought about that text once til now!


I agree with this, I read somewhere else someone saying that H thinks he has them figured out and knows exactly what they'd be doing, etc. I feel this applies to me too. He thinks he knows me so well. I want to be unpredictable! As well as happy for myself and stop the same old same old that keeps happening even now with the patterns H uses to 'check' on me.


I also like this attitude. I AM busy(well some days), lol not just sitting waiting for him to text/call, which he thinks.

Ok so I had responded real short said 'Im good how are you?'

He txt straight back saying 'good. went to see X(show) last night. it was great! whats new with you?'

Dont really think i should tell him what Ive been up to. maybe i can just say been busy or something.

"Went shopping and got some new clothes after working out and tanning. Gonna see 'Wolverine' tonight after having dinner and drinks with friends."

lol i love that! thanks!!

ok so was quite confident in my answer last night(after waiting a while), in response to the whats new with you q? i said 'lots of things, x,x,x (few examples of what id been up to, but not too much detail), im loving the long weekend!'

i just thought he thinks im so boring sitting around being predictable, like he knows exactly what to expect, it kind of annoyed me actually! so left it at that, thinking a 'whatever' attitude and went on with my night, had quite a bit of fun too!

Tonight got another text from H (this must be a record for the recent months now, ha) him saying 'hi things are good been really busy. today was really nice out :)'

i never even asked a question like how are you, etc. although he felt the need to tell me he has been 'busy'

i half think what was the point in sending something like that?!? and think yes i know its nice out today, i have been out and can look out my own window...maybe he is just being friendly and im being a bit harsh, but i guess i am fed up with the crap.

and I was with a friend having a few drinks tonight when he text too and am so glad i was out GAL and having a good time!

well not responding tonight, my head's a bit fuzzy so will think things over in the morning.

sorry for the step by step, guess i was just excited/surprised to see a change in same old patterns and behaviors from H. so thought id get it out here. Still trying not to let it skew my perception or think too much of it.

Ok so made a big step for myself today in that I moved lots of H's clothes from the bedroom that he had left all over the place and made room for my own. Also started taking over his side of the closet. Still need to remove more of his clothes to fully utilize the closet space for myself. I had left it so long bc I was annoyed that I'd have to move it, I thought he should. But today just decided to clear some stuff for ME and have been trying to think of ways to make the house more my own, little touches, girly things, etc. I want to get a new plant too, something nice to look at. So if anyone has quick, cheap ideas to spruce up the house I'd love to hear them and what has worked for others!

Good job clearing out some closet space for yourself. My BF listed closet place on the top of things about a S to look on the bright side about. Haha! So, keep pushing his stuff to the back and enjoy the space.

Inexpensive decorating ideas... Paint! $25 a gallon and you can completely change your bedroom, a bathroom, etc. Throw pillows... if you like the flowery ones or lace, this is the time! Try TJ Maxx, etc. for cute ones for a decent price. Maybe some incense or those sticks that go in the oil and smell great... Just some thoughts!