I'm trying to start a new thread here. If I click on the link it did take me to the old link. From reading other posts thought I might be getting locked out soon.
I have to laugh, laughing is very therapuetic for me. I laugh at lot of things. Things I shouldn't laugh at, politically incorrect things I laugh at, if someone falls, I laugh. I do have a pretty good sense of humor as does my S3 which is great! S3 and I laugh about the same things and his laugh is infectious. It the Bohemian in us. I do find my sitch funny at times, more now than at the beginning. I love comedy shows, I could probably write a plot for a comedy based on my sitch or maybe a drama, one of those Lifetime movies. Except someone would have to mysteriously disappear.... I'm just kidding!!!!
My conversation with H last night is funny now that I think about it. It was killing him that he had to talk to me and I was in a very good mood when he called, was very upbeat and happy to hear from him...he probably wondered if he had the right number.
My S3 told me this morning that I could golf with Patty on Sunday, that it was just going to be guys when dad got back....S3 is soo cute.
Quote: if you are really hung up on the fact that he didn't call to let you know he'd be away...you might ask him when planning the visiting shcedule (wich you will do right?) that if he plans to go away with any great distance he'll let you know..and you'll do the same. not because you want to or need to know to check up on him but because you are the parents of a young boy and should know where the other is incase of emergencies.
do it in a way that shows you are not inquiring for yourself for a manner of control but that you want to assure things for son. It is something that can be addressed in the context of discussing a visiting shcedule (are you getting the idea that I wont rest until you have a schedule worked out with h?)
btw if the thread title is what I think...I love queen!!
When I was on my lunchtime walk I was thinking that you remind me of a very close friend of mine and now even more with "won't rest until I have a schedule," but I like it. I need pressure to do things sometimes. My good friend can be very straight forward, to the point and it doesn't bother me. Maybe because I know she'll always be there for me no matter what, like this bb. She cannot believe I want to save my marriage. I was complaining to her awhile ago about all the feedback from friends (how they want me to get rid of H) on our marriage and how it got me down sometimes and she said "well you ask and we tell you what we think" so I don't bring up the subject very often anymore in fact with any of my friends.
In fact her daughter who has been trouble since the day she was born walked out of her marriage a few weeks ago, after getting back from walking about a few months ago. She just disappears, and her H lies for her or covers for her, they're into drugs, but they have two kids. Okay now I'm rambling.
Quote: btw if the thread title is what I think...I love queen!!
In my last thread I mentioned that I was Bohemian and then that song game to mind. I went to see Queen when I was in my teens and it's still the best concert that I've ever been to. I can still picture Freddie up on stage in his white jumpsuit.
Took the day off yesterday and golfed with a friend of mine, we had a great time and great day, did 27 holes! We're not that good, but we do have a good time.
Regarinding the new title, the first few lines of this song are in now way related to my sitch!
I think I have plans for Sunday and will plan on leaving on doing my thing, need new fall clothes.
I'm wondering if anyone has suggestions on how to bring up the visitation thing with H. I want to put it on him to come with a solution. Part of me doesn't want to make him commit to anything, I don't know why, maybe this was one of my problems with our M. "If you aim at nothing, you'll hit it everytime" which is what I did a lot of, it was easy to not to ask him to do things or agree to things because then I'd have nothing to complain about and it also made me feel crappy which was how I was used to feeling....does that make sense? This will be a big step for me if I can get H to agree to a visitation...it will also make me feel really good and will also allow me to plan my week. So feel the fear and do it anyway?
At this BB a lot of poeple talk about having a hard time with trust and forgiveness of the S once they're back home. Right now, as you know he's not home, but I can forgive him and I think I would be able to trust him again. Did anyone feel like that before S decided to recomit to the M again? And then once they were back everything changed?
Quote: P.S. I'm rather liking LL's idea of being dressed to GO when H gets there on Sunday. It WOULD be a 180, wouldn't it?
I don't know if it would be a 180, because I have left before or had plans when I knew he'd be there. A 180 would be for me to stay away for the whole day and not come back till midnight. It will piss him off royally if I did this and I don't want to do it either. If I'm in a happy upbeat mood, "act as if," show him I've been moving on, not let him get to me, to take any negatives towards me and make it a positive back and really listen to what he's saying and be emphatic, compassionate and supportive--now that's a 180 becuase it's the total opposite of the old me.
Is it smart DBing to bring up past things my H did to thank him? Earlier this year he arranged for a babysitter--a first for him. My grandfather died and I was planning on take S3 to the wake. I was totally surprised and shocked, but I never thanked him. Is this something that should wait until we're on more stable ground?
I do have plans for tomorrow a co-worker gave me tickets to a Kitchen Tour of older houses that have been remodeled. I am so excited!! My Sis is coming with me. Tonight I'm having some gal pals over for gossip and beer. We were going to have a fire, but it's raining so we'll have to sit inside I'm afraid.
Cathy
P.S. Another thing about S3, on average he says "I love you mama" at least twice a day if not more during the week and even more on the weekends. We can be just walking, like to the football game last Saturday, with friends, at the mall and just out of the blue he says "I love you mama" it doesn't bother him at all and he says it freely---another lesson being learned. And hugs are also given freely.
Quote: Regarinding the new title, the first few lines of this song are in now way related to my sitch!
mamma, ooohoh, just killed a man...put a gun up to his head pulled the trigger now he's dead????
what???? this is now your sit?? or maybe I have the wrong begining.
Quote:
I'm wondering if anyone has suggestions on how to bring up the visitation thing with H. I want to put it on him to come with a solution. Part of me doesn't want to make him commit to anything, I don't know why, maybe this was one of my problems with our M. "If you aim at nothing, you'll hit it everytime" which is what I did a lot of, it was easy to not to ask him to do things or agree to things because then I'd have nothing to complain about and it also made me feel crappy which was how I was used to feeling....does that make sense? This will be a big step for me if I can get H to agree to a visitation...it will also make me feel really good and will also allow me to plan my week. So feel the fear and do it anyway?
I would simply ask..."can we come up with a schedule for son3, so that we each will be able to plan our week and his accordingly?" be flexible and open to suggestions and let him know that not only would it be helpful to both of you as adults to have a schedule set up, but it would also be tremendously helpful for son to have some structure.
Quote: At this BB a lot of poeple talk about having a hard time with trust and forgiveness of the S once they're back home. Right now, as you know he's not home, but I can forgive him and I think I would be able to trust him again. Did anyone feel like that before S decided to recomit to the M again? And then once they were back everything changed?
a yup!! while h was gone..I thought ok I forgive him for what he did...if he'd only come home and work on things...this ow doesn't matter...our family is more important than some mistake he made.
it does change a bit when they're home..but it doesn't have to.
Quote: I don't know if it would be a 180, because I have left before or had plans when I knew he'd be there. A 180 would be for me to stay away for the whole day and not come back till midnight.
well there's a difference between going out and staying out til he puts son to bed and comming home at midnight...figure out what would be the best 180 for you and go for it.
Quote: Is it smart DBing to bring up past things my H did to thank him? Earlier this year he arranged for a babysitter--a first for him. My grandfather died and I was planning on take S3 to the wake. I was totally surprised and shocked, but I never thanked him. Is this something that should wait until we're on more stable ground?
might be seen as reaching for things...I'd try to stick to things that are in the present...or things that can be tied into something current.
ok now I get it....I just got lost with the begining...
Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Caught in a landslide No escape from reality Open your eyes Look up to the skies and see I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy Because I'm easy come, easy go A little high, little low Anyway the wind blows, doesn't really matter to me, to me
Mama, just killed a man Put a gun against his head Pulled my trigger, now he's dead Mama, life had just begun But now I've gone and thrown it all away Mama, ooo Didn't mean to make you cry If I'm not back again this time tomorrow Carry on, carry on, as if nothing really matters
Too late, my time has come Sends shivers down my spine Body's aching all the time Goodbye everybody - I've got to go Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth Mama, ooo - (anyway the wind blows) I don't want to die I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all
I see a little silhouetto of a man Scaramouch, scaramouch will you do the fandango Thunderbolt and lightning - very very frightening me Gallileo, Gallileo, Gallileo, Gallileo, Gallileo Figaro - magnifico
But I'm just a poor boy and nobody loves me He's just a poor boy from a poor family Spare him his life from this monstrosity Easy come easy go - will you let me go Bismillah! No - we will not let you go - let him go Bismillah! We will not let you go - let him go Bismillah! We will not let you go - let me go Will not let you go - let me go (never) Never let you go - let me go Never let me go - ooo No, no, no, no, no, no, no - Oh mama mia, mama mia, mama mia let me go Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me for me for me
So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye So you think you can love me and leave me to die Oh baby - can't do this to me baby Just gotta get out - just gotta get right outta here
Ooh yeah, ooh yeah Nothing really matters Anyone can see Nothing really matters - nothing really matters to me
